People think that distance only puts a strain on romantic relationships, but in my experience, distance puts pressure on every aspect of your life — including your friendships. Being away from someone makes it much harder to keep up with each other's lives in the exact same way as before. Usually, when something was wrong you could just hop on the train or drive over to your bestie's place. That cannot happen when you live far away from one another.
So far, I have moved so many times in my life that making friends has become a new reality for me. I've adapted and some may say I have thrived. But keeping the friends I had already made is truly the part I find myself struggling with the most. Distance makes it so much harder. The trick is to communicate. Like in a real relationship with a significant other, voicing concerns and making sure you are there when they need you is crucial. Real friends show up, and if you can maintain that from across the country your friendship will be as strong as ever.
Always remember important dates like their birthdays, graduations and their cycles. Trust me, getting chocolate in the mail the day before my period is a surefire way to get me to donate my organs to you at any time. There are so many obstacles you need to overcome, but in the end, it is totally worthwhile. If you are feeling frustrated in your long distance friendship, you are not alone. Here are the struggles only tried and true friends in a long distance relationship understand,
1. Being Scared Your Relationship Changed
Not being able to be face-to-face with your best friend can lead to doubts about your friendship. Do they think of me? Do they still like me? Will we be friends in a month? The important thing you need to remember is that a friendship is as important as you make it. If you prioritize your friendship, it won't need to change.
2. Being Jealous Of Your Friend's Friends
Every time I heard my friend mention a different person who lives in her city, I would get jealous. I wished I was hanging out with my friend instead of them. I get it, you both went to get yogurt. I bet if I went to get yogurt with you, you would have had a better time. Also, we wouldn't be getting yogurt — we would be getting burgers. (So there.)
3. Phone Tag
If there is a time difference, chances are you will miss their calls and they will miss yours. There will be countless games of phone tag being played out. Your job is to set concrete times and stick to them!
4. Reunions Put Your Whole Life On Pause
When your best friend comes to visit or when you visit your best friend, the entire world needs to wait. You will not be seeing other people, you will be in a technological black hole. It is you and your friend. You have things to catch up on.
5. Embarrassing Snapchats
In order to make your friends feel like you are still around, you will have to send a lot of silly pictures to make them laugh. My favorite is the pooping Snapchat. Nothing makes my friends laugh quite like pretending to poop.
6. Saving For A Flight
Nothing says struggling like having to tighten your belt in order to save up for a flight. Those things are so expensive! Saving money in general is tough, but investing into a flight is a whole other ballpark.
7. You Worry That You'll End Up Like Their Other Friends
You've heard the stories of your friend growing apart from other people before. You cannot help but think that same thing will happen to you. You have enough to worry about!
Time differences are the key holders of all spoilers. You have to keep key information a secret not to spoil something for your best friend. I am currently dealing with a lot of Game Of Thrones drama on the West Coast because my friends all know what happens before I do!
9. Every Phone Call Ends With Sadness
Every time you get off the phone you just feel the biggest ping of nostalgia. If you could keep a phone conversation going for hours you would! Unfortunately, that's not in anyone's phone plan.
10. Your Internet Hates You
Try Skyping with someone when you can't afford the top shelf internet provider. It's dropped calls and lost words all day every day. I guess your only option is sitting in a café...
11. Juicy Stories Have To Wait
Maybe you finally kissed the guy you like, or bumped into someone from middle school on the street. Whatever the story, it will have to wait to be told.
12. Keeping Up With Every Social Media Account Is Hard!
Having to keep tabs on your friends through their social media can get exhausting. Especially if they are a social butterfly that posts on every platform a couple of times a week. Hey, at least you can suggest what brunch place to go to when you visit, right?
13. Inside Jokes Are Heart Breakers
You will almost cry from laughing at least three times a week because something with remind you of an inside joke between you and your friend. You will also feel really sad they are not around to laugh with you.
14. Counting Down The Days
Work is great, but you can't keep your eyes from counting down the days until you see your friend again. Is it May 27 yet? How about now?
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