Entertainment

Only 'Star Wars' Fans Can Understand May The 4th

by Mary Grace Garis

Don’t worry, friends, for the first time since Force Awakens came out it’s socially acceptable to be seen with a light saber. That’s right, the annual Star Wars holiday May the Fourth is with us, and, for hardcore fanatics, it’s a joyous occasion. For normal human beings who wait three weeks in to catch the new Star Wars, it’s just a gigantic nerd party. But we know better than that. We’re enlightened, and we have an understanding about May the Fourth that those normies just can’t appreciate.

Truth be told, a love of Star Wars is near-universal and almost more of a part of mass culture than pop culture. It’s certainly mass marketed enough. But May the Fourth is special for those of us a little more invested in the Star Wars saga. There’s a lot of celebration, a lot of activity, and a lot of cosplay. It’s commitment. And if you want to be low-key and just post a “Happy May The Fourth” status on Facebook, that’s fine, but the rest of us are going to lean into the fandom hard.

So these are all the things you understand if you’re a dedicated celebrator of the best holiday in the galaxy, May the Fourth.

1. That Selfie Of You In A Stormtrooper Uniform Is Totally Necessary

Hey, you spent $180 on that for Comic Con last year, you're going to use it.

2. Also This Was The Ideal Day To Try That Leia Hoth Braid YouTube Tutorial

Because buns are for fair-weather fans. Tragically, you're cosmetically challenged and give up halfway through the first dutch braid.

3. It's Totally Reasonable To Call Out Of Work To Marathon All The Films

I mean, you have all those personal days stocked up already.

4. It's Also Reasonable If You Just, You Know, Feel Like Skipping The Prequels Entirely

This is supposed to be a happy occasion; you don't need to ruin it with monologues about sand.

5. Or, Hey, If The Films Going To Be In Theaters Nearby, You're Already There

It's even better to be surrounded by a whole bunch of Jedi.

6. Now's A Good As Time As Any To Surprise Your Roommate With Your Life-Size Han Solo Cut Out

You ordered it months ago and it finally came in the mail, so you're just gonna prop that in the doorway so he can greet her when she gets home from work. I'm sure she'll be down with keeping him in the living room.

7. It Also Makes Sense To Stock Up On Discounted Star Wars Paraphernalia

DEALS DEALS DEALS!

8. Having A Star Wars Party On A Weekday Is Totally Necessary

Hey, you didn't work today.

9. It's Okay If You Burn Your Hand While Making Lightsaber Pretzel Sticks

Honestly, the Skywalkers have been through a lot worse.

10. If Your Baker Friend Really Loves You, She'll Make You A Yoda Cake

I have had this done before, it came with Nutella frosting.

11. And At The End Of The Day, You Have To Snuggle Up With Your Favorite Wookie

Whether that's a Chewbacca stuffed animal or a Brussels Griffon coined Chewie, you've earned it.

12. The Party Doesn't Stop When It's Not May Anymore

May the Fourth? More like May the All Year Long.

13. You Don't Have To Be A Fan To Join The Fun

A true Star Wars fan is magnanimous enough to realize that just because some peasants wasted their childhoods doesn't mean that we should exclude them from our exclusive club on Star Wars day. It just means we need to educate them on how wrong they've been their entire lives, and try not to get judgmental about it.

Or, rather, do or do not get judgmental about it. Your call.

May the Fourth be with all Star Wars fans, no matter what day it actually is. You get it.

Images: Walt Disney Motion Pictures/Lucasfilm; Giphy (11)