'Vanderpump Rules' Meets 'Sharknado 4' With This Incredible Casting Of Reality Star Exes

Just as my colleague Kayla Hawkins oh-so wisely predicted, the Vanderpump Rules universe and the Sharknado universe have collided. Last week, Pump Rules drink maker and troublemaker Jax Taylor announced on Instagram that he and costar/ex-girlfriend/ex-coworker Stassi Schroeder will be in Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens. Yes, it looks like two of my heroes are now part of the cult classic Syfy film franchise, and yes, I am counting my lucky sharks, er, stars. So who will the two Pumpers play in the latest installment of the made-for-television movie series about havoc-wreaking fish cyclones? Will Stassi and Jax be sharks? Will Stassi and Jax be tornados? The possibilities are endless!

Before I let my imagination run amok, I remembered that just two months ago, one Pumper divulged a crucial nugget of information: Back in March, Schroeder told Straight Up With Stassi listeners that she spent a day shooting scenes for a movie in which she played a “boss b*tch nuclear rocket scientist.” She didn’t share the name of the moving picture or when it would be out or where fans could see it, but thanks to Taylor’s gram, I think it’s safe to say the mystery has been solved: Schroeder’s turn as a boss b*tch nuclear rocket scientist is presumably part of the Sharknado franchise. Sure, there’s always a chance the boss b*tch nuclear rocket scientist role could be for a different project, but come on.

And as for sweet Jaxy-poo's role? Several weeks ago, Taylor posted a few notable photos from a movie set:

Red Harvest, eh? Is that a code name for the new Sharknado movie I smell?

Here's a wild hunch: I think Taylor and YouTube personality DeStorm Power might play military personnel in the Sharknado flick. I know, I know. I really went out on a limb for that one.

Now, for the most important question: Will Schroeder and Taylor have any scenes together? Because that would send me over the edge/be my everything. Alas, I do not know the answer; I scoured the webosphere for tens of minutes, but my e-sleuthing came up short.

Yes, Stassi. Really. I suppose I'll just have to be patient and wait until this surefire masterpiece hits the small screen in July.

Images: Charles Sykes/Bravo; bricesander/tumblr