Is A ‘The Hills’ Movie Happening? These Reports Are The Most Exciting Thing You’ll Hear All Decade, Probably
Are you over The Hills 10-year anniversary fever? First of all, jeez what's your deal??? And secondly, you could grab a cold compress if you like, but it won't really make much of a difference; This Hills nostalgia fever will not break anytime soon. There's the avalanche of fascinating behind-the-scenes tell-alls (bring me all of the Hills oral histories, please and thank you), there will be a reunion special in August, and there might be a motion picture. Yes, according to Entertainment Weekly, a Hills reunion movie “is closer than ever to happening.”
Good. Great. Wonderful. Couldn't be more on board.
According to EW’s source, Whitney Port, Kristin Cavallari, and Audrina Patridge are all apparently game, whereas Lauren Conrad is the “one holdout.” Uh oh. Without Lauren “I Want To Forgive You And I Want To Forget You” Conrad, this reunion movie can’t really happen.
Now, what if LC does hop on board? What would a Hills movie look like? The source told EW that in addition to catching up with the show's cast, the flick may kick things off with Patridge's wedding in Australia.
Good. Great. Wonderful. Still on board.
Now, if this Hills movie really does happen? Um, I have a few requests. I hope that's cool. Here's what I'd like to see in a silver screen adaptation of the iconic MTV reality series:
1. The Cast Could Go On A Hop-On Hop-Off Tour Around Hollywood
The cast could get on a tour bus and drive to notable Hills locations (e.g., Don Antonio's, the Grove, the Villas at Park La Brea Apartments, the restaurant where Les Deux used to be, the suite where People's Revolution used to be, the spot where Ketchup used to be) and get all sorts of nostalgic.
2. Lauren Could Visit FIDM
FIDM alumna and accomplished fashion designer LC could guest lecture! Sounds like a thrilling movie scene to me!
3. Justin-Bobby Could Swing By
If this motion picture happens and Justin “The Man So Great He Needed Two Names” Brescia isn't a part of it? I shall cry into my combat boots.
4. Same Goes For Lo Bosworth, Stephanie Pratt, Brody Jenner— Just Bring Back Everyone, OK?
Ev. Er. Y. One.
5. There Could Be At Least A Dozen Heart-To-Hearts
If there is one thing this group
6. Everyone Could Stare At Everyone At Least A Dozen Times
The more blank stares the merrier.
7. There Could Be A Natasha Bedingfield Cameo
8. Actually, Let's Make That A Natasha Bedingfield Concert
Oo! Oo! I have an idea: For the final scene of the movie, the cast could go to the Greek Theatre and watch Natasha B. sing the Hills theme song live. Tears will be shed, lyrics will be screamed, and feelings will be felt.
9. Oo! Oo! Let's Make It A A Natasha Bedingfield & Ryan Cabrera Concert
It could be a mini The Hills music festival.
10. While We're Here, Why Not Invite Hilary Duff, Too?
I know she sang the Laguna Beach song, not the The Hills song, but I don’t care.
11. And Most Importantly, Speidi Must. Be. In. The. Movie.
I know already said "bring back everyone" so this point seems redundant, but whatever. I can't say this enough: A Hills movie without Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag would be a total bust. Let us not kid ourselves for a second. Like cheese in a quesadilla, Speidi is a crucial ingredient to The Hills.
And on that note, I leave you with this:
A true icon.