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Nick Jonas Makes Heartbreak Sexy With These Lyrics

by Mary Grace Garis

Looking to further leave his days in The Jonas Brothers behind, Nick Jonas dropped his new album Last Year Was Complicated on Friday, and it is as steamy as it is... well, complicated. It’s looking like the past year did stir some inner turmoil with the Baby Jonas. There’s lyrics off Last Year Was Complicated dealing with heartbreak, with sex, and most of all, with sexy heartbreak.

“Wait, what are you talking about Mary Grace, what’s sexy heartbreak?” Well, for starters, it something that Jonas seems to be an expert on. Beyond that, sexy heartbreak deals mainly with the gray area between a relationship ending and boning like crazy. Or, missing the opportunity to bone. Or not boning at all and skipping to the morning-after breakfast. You know what, I’m not really sure what’s going on in this album. All I can gather from the lyrics is that Jonas seemed to be dealing with the dissolution of one or two romances, but he’s going to be strong and keep it sultry all the while.

Anyway, if you’re going through some sexy heartbreak right now, give Last Year Was Complicated a whirl. You can start with these 11 lyrics that perfectly capture that pain (that sexy pain).

1. "You're Drinking Me Dry/Throwin' Fuel On A Fire, Fire"

You know how you're so beaten down by a relationship that you start mixing metaphors? Or at least power-clashing metaphors?

2. "How Many Times Have We Been Here Before/How Many Pieces Have To Break/So Many Reasons Not To Celebrate/But I Hate To See You Cry So Let's Drink Before Goodbye"

Yeah, when has drinking before a break-up ever ended badly?

3. "How Did Our Clothes End Up On The Floor/Didn't We Just Break Each Other's Hearts?/Didn't You Have One Foot Out The Door"

JK, this is what happens when you drink too much champagne with your ex (or $8 red wine, for us normals).

4. "And Maybe I'll Just Take A Chainsaw To The Sofa/Where I Held Your Body Close For So Long, So Long"

My friend recently had a meltdown because she saw her former live-in boyfriend snuggling with some new girl on the couch that they bought, so this is a very real feeling.

5. "Keep Finding Things That You Left On Purpose/Did You Plan That Your Timing's Perfect?"

For when you find your ex's vintage Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tee and start bawling into it.

6. "Feel like/Aw Sh*t, Throw Some Bacon On It/One Thing I Love More Than Being With You/And That's No Ties, No Drama In My Life"

These lyrics are probably not about forgoing love and turning to the beautiful simplicity of bacon, but I'm going to pretend they are.

7. "Take Another Photo/Post It For The World To See/People That You Don't Know/Who The Hell You Tryna Please?"

This probably isn't about love at all, but it does resonate with that post-break-up time when your Facebook devolves into photos of you clubbing in a wide variety of bandage dresses.

8. "Don't Make Me Choose/Between My Left Hand And My Right/Don't Make Me Choose/Between My Love And My Life"

Ugh, musician boyfriends.

9. "If You Really Love Me/You Would Never Judge Me/I Would Never Do That To You"

When your still-not-quite-official squeeze sees you drunk snap chatting you getting Taco Bell at three in the morning.

10. "No I'll Never Get Over/Never Get Over/Not Getting Under You/Getting Under You"

Shout out to that guy you were dying to sleep with, but for some reason never made it to the second date.

11. "When You Close That Door You See/It's Unhinged, It's Just Like Me"

Fond memories of the time when your main squeeze dumped you after a night of red wine induced sex and you lunged an iPhone at him as he was leaving.

See? Sexy heartbreak is a real thing, and Jonas' latest album is defining it for us.

Images: Giphy (11)