15 Things You Should Have Been Embarrassed About In The '90s, But Weren't
Ah, the '90s — that glorious decade we just can't seem to get enough of, and understandably so. It was a great time to come of age, amirite? But, as with most things in life, you can't take the good without the bad ... which means admitting there were plenty of things you should have been embarrassed about in the '90s, but weren't. They say ignorance is bliss and '90s kids were undeniably blissful, so, well, you get the picture. Even so, it's a safe assumption we'll just keep on viewing the decade through rose-colored glasses. After all, it's partially because we were so comically unaware of our awkward moments in the '90s that we had so much fun instead of being stunted by a mortifying sense of self-awareness.
A respectable enough amount of time has passed that we can now look back and laugh at ourselves in a funny-ha-ha kind of way, not the demoralizing gotta-laugh-to-keep-from-crying kind of way we may very well have forced out if we'd realized back then how many embarrassing things we were doing (and totally loving, to be sure). It's much more fun to recall those moments through a lens of nostalgia. 'Cause, let's be honest, it gives you now a newfound appreciation for just how much '90s you DGAF what other people thought.
Still, it's hard not to look back on these things we should have been embarrassed about and wonder aloud what in the hell we were thinking. '90s me, you've got some 'splainin' to do.
1. Dousing Yourself In Gap Dream All The Time
Never mind that the sheer volume of vapor haloing your body followed you like a cloud wherever you went — you smelled hella good.
2. Blowing Into Your Electronics
Because, no matter how much we want it to, our breath cannot magically mend electronic devices. Wait, who are we kidding? We all still do this ... and we still aren't embarrassed about it.
3. Snogging Your Backstreet Boys Poster When No One Was Looking
Whatev, they were super cute and, naturally, hung at the perfect height for faux-snogging.
4. Rocking Way Too Many Mini-Buns In Your Hair
Real talk: You were going for Gwen Stefani, but wound up looking like Hellraiser.
5. Sniffing Mr. Sketch Markers With Wild Abandon
Who didn't love the smell of Mr. Sketch in the morning? Somehow we also managed to convince ourselves sniffing the green was safer than sniffing the red or black. Not surprisingly, the logic of this now eludes me.
6. Two Words: Popcorn Shirts
Unfortunately, we were obsessed with the sorcery of these magically expanding textured tops. Of the many questionable fashion choices we made, popcorn shirts must be somewhere near the top.
7. Singing "I Wanna Really Really Really Wanna Zig A Zig Ahh" Like We Totally Got It
It also merits mentioning that we liked to belt out these nonsensical Spice Girls lyrics at the top of our lungs while decked out in Union Jacks.
8. Your Lisa Frank Obsession
Lisa Frank wasn't just a line of school supplies — it was a way of life. It was a culture. 'Cause, gosh darn it, you absolutely needed notebooks covered in psychedelic kittens and folders plastered with the smiling visages of jewel-encrusted unicorns.
9. Slathering On Excessive Body Glitter
You had glitter powders. You had glitter gels. You had glitter spray. You had hairspray with glitter in it. You were a veritable living, breathing disco ball. There was no shame in your body glitter game.
10. Crushing On Bart Simpson
That spiky yellow hair, the devil-may-care attitude, the creativity with which he made prank calls — Bart Simpson was a total stud. See also: A cartoon. He was a cartoon .
11. Dropping Everything To Feed Your Tamagotchi When It Screamed At You
In your defense, if you ignored it's little electronic screams of starvation, it would die. And no one wanted the digital blood of their handheld computer pet on their conscience.
12. Doing The Macarena
Like, every chance you could get. You lived for the moment the DJ cued it up at school dances so you could show off your choreographed rhythm.
13. Your Inordinately Large Collection Of Beanie Babies
If you had a special holding case for said collection, even better! You preened them and screeched at anyone who threatened their pristine condition. Fat lot of good it did ya, though, since most are little more than yard sale worthy now.
14. Your Penchant For Windbreakers
Patterned windbreakers especially. Was it windy where you lived? Probably not, yet you kept on flaunting this two-piece ensemble like it was going out of style. Oh, wait ... it was.
15. Plastering Everything With Peace Frogs
Looking back, it's kind of surprising the '90s wasn't a banner decade for future marine biologists, based on our penchant for everything from bumper stickers to T-shirts adorned with peace frogs. Remember those guys? Of course you do.
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