13 Things You Did In A Game Of Spin The Bottle In The '90s
Spin the Bottle was the party game of the '90s. I don't know what kids do these days at parties, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that there's an app for that. For those of you who are unfamiliar (born after 2000), spin the bottle is a party game where everyone sits in a circle, and then you take a bottle (generally an empty water or soda bottle if you were underage in the '90s) and take turns spinning it. You must then kiss whoever the bottle is pointing at when it stops spinning. Sometimes you'd have rules for "levels" of kissing. So for each other individual person in the circle, you'd start with a kiss on the cheek, then the lips, then tongue. Which was great when you didn't want to kiss certain people, but terrible when you only got to cheek with your crush.
Parties in the '90s were full of bad decisions like games of spin the bottle, consulting ouija boards, and blue hair mascara. Within those bad decisions were yet more bad decisions, and during a game of spin the bottle, there were a lot of terrible choices to be made. Your bound to cringe when you think about these 13 things you did during a game of spin the bottle in the '90s.
1. Kissed People You Had No Interest In Kissing
Every game of spin the bottle meant kissing people you didn't really want to kiss. It's unclear why exactly we subjected ourselves to this, taking into consideration the following...
2. Missed Out On Kissing Your Crush Even Though That Was The Only Reason You Were Playing
Obviously the main reason you put up with kissing people you didn't want to kiss was the off chance that you might get to kiss the person you did want to kiss. It was leaving a lot up to chance, and a lot of the time that didn't work in your favor.
3. Tried To "Strategically" Spin The Bottle
Thinking you could play "God" with the bottle and strategically spin so it stopped in the right place was the fool's errand of the '90s.
4. Prayed To The Ghost Of Kurt Cobain
The other thing you did at parties in the '90s was seances to resurrect Kurt Cobain's spirt. To whom you'd secretly pray to help you out in spin the bottle.
5. Got Lip Smacker All Over Someone's Face
It wasn't a party in the '90s if your lips weren't layered thick with the stickiest lipgloss you could find. As a result, during spin the bottle, this would end up unwittingly on someone else's face.
6. Got Someone Else's Lip Smacker On Your Face Via A Third Party
... And sometimes you'd kiss someone who had someone else's lip gloss on them, and you'd wind up covered in the Lip Smacker of someone you never even kissed!
7. Thought "What Would Rachel Do?"
Rachel tried to spin the bottle to kiss her crush on Friends, so maybe somehow you'd end up in a cheerleader costume too. I don't know.
8. Tried To "Set The Mood" With The Romeo + Juliet Soundtrack
Of course the opportunity to kiss someone you liked required sexy mood setting music. What better in the '90s than the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack?
9. Made What You Thought Were "Bedroom Eyes" At Your Crush
Because you were a teenager you probably just looked like you were trying to hold in a fart, but still. Points for trying.
10. Believed The Kiss Really "Meant Something" When It Was With Your Crush
As much as you hated kissing not your crush, when you kissed your crush, you'd build it up to mean something so much more than a random occurrence in a game of chance.
11. Tried To Sit Sexily, With Your Legs In A Mermaid's Tail To Your Side
But in reality, your butt was just going numb underneath you.
12. Held In Your Wee For An Unhealthy Amount Of Time So You Wouldn't Miss Your Turn Or Your Crush's Turn
You'll never understand the pain of holding in a wee for way longer than is healthy until you've held one in during a game of spin the bottle. It's a numbers game: the more you and your crush spun, the more chance you had of kissing. Leaving for the bathroom would mean fewer spins, and therefore fewer chances to kiss.
13. Got Irrationally Upset When Your Crush Had To Kiss Someone Else
Being a game of chance, there was really no reason for your crush kissing other people. That was inherent in the game... It's not exactly a game of exclusivity. But that wouldn't stop you from getting irrationally upset every time your crush had to kiss someone else.