'Teen Witch' Is A Classic & Here's Why

by Mary Grace Garis

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but here at Bustle, there is a lot of love site-wide when it comes to teenage sorceresses and spell-casters — from Sabrina Spellman to The Craft coven, we love them all. However, we should never forget how the 1989 film Teen Witch preceded all of our favorite ‘90s witches, and brought hexes and charms to epic levels of ridiculousness. The ‘90s witches couldn’t even dream to top that.

Teen Witch follows shy nerd Louise Miller, a reincarnated witch who gains her powers on her 16th birthday. Naturally, she tries to use her newfound magical prowess to win over Brad, a bland dreamboat in his senior year. And um... everything actually works out pretty fine, guys. By sprinkling some powder and drinking some foam, Louise magically (literally) finds herself the most popular girl in school, with Brad wrapped around her finger. But is she really happy? Does Brad like her for the real Louise?

And what’s with all the hip-hop numbers?

Yeah, I don’t know — all I know is that it's an amazing film. So don’t delay any longer, head over to Netflix and catch Teen Witch now... and, also, scroll through the most memorable, noteworthy moments below.

1. She's Having That Recurring Dream Where She Stars In A Whitney Houston Video

I think that means you have trouble letting go of the past.

2. OK, But Where Did He Find A Chocolate Cake?

And can he at least use a fork?

3. You Can Tell She's Going To Be A Witch Because She Obviously Gets Her Hair Done In A Hogsmeade Salon

Doesn't really explain the patterned muumuu, tho.

4. They're Wearing Woolen John Bender Coats In Late Spring

That's a surefire way to fit in with the kids at school.

5. "M'Lady"

"Are you sure you go to high school?"

Are you sure you're not a 1920s gangster?

6. Every Facet Of This Unexplained Dance Sequence Done To A Song Brilliantly Titled, "I Like Boys"

Yeah, side-eye doesn't even begin to cover it.

7. This All Seems Very Intense For An Audition For A High School Play

Maybe it's the lighting, maybe it's the fact that she's literally in his lap.

8. This Sex Ed Scene That's Probably Required To Be Here By Virtue Of This Being A Teen Movie, But Actually It Has Nothing To Do With The Plot

Actually, looking at the still that preceded it, maybe it's a good idea.

9. "Maybe She's Really Starting To Like You!"

The most popular girl in school who probably knows Louise has serious feelings for her boyfriend? Yeah, no, that sounds pretty likely.

10. Stereotypical '80s Nerd Or Whose Line Is It Anyway's Greg Proops?

Really hard to tell.

11. Just Want Everyone Who Can't Tell That She's Wearing A Open Denim Button-Up Over a Red Bodycon Minidress With A Pink-Orange Tutu, Fishnet Stockings, And Sunglasses (At Night) To Take In This Image

Meanwhile, why is this school dance barn themed?

12. This Is Disturbing On Many Levels, But Let's Start With The Sauce On The Walls And The French Fry Garnish For This Pizza And Just... Go From There

You need help. Or to pass on a beautiful recipe.

13. Didn't Know They Had Black And White Photocopiers In The 1600s

History is so fascinating.

14. Just Reading By An Abandoned Carousel In The Middle Of The Night Like I Always Do

But meanwhile, she's terrified of having her mom see her in a miniskirt.

15. Literally Every Other Piece Of Media In The World Asserts That Love Spells Are Dangerous, But Madame Serena Is Like, "LOL Yeah Let's Do It"

"We'll make him your love slave."

Such an enabler.

16. Louis Says All The Chairs Are Being Reupolstered, So I Guess That Thing On The Right Must Be A Coffee Table

Can't you like, poof that away or like... turn it into a frog or something?

17. This Totally Inappropriate Moment Where Louise's Professor Shows her Birth Control Pills To The Entire Classroom

Uh, what the hell, dude?!

18. And Then She Uses A Voodoo Doll To Make Him Do A Striptease

Which really is torture on the entire classroom more than straightforward revenge.

19. "I Want To Look Like Her"

You'll regret that haircut in about a decade, hun.

20. This Entire Montage, But Particularly When Louise's Popularity Spell Wins Her Three Van-fuls Of Cat-Callers...

Because that seems like a fun use of magic.

21. ...And When The Classroom Applauds Her, Cher Horowitz Style...

Including that one teacher who probably should've been fired.

22. ...And These Teenagers Enthusiastically Dancing Behind Louise In The Hallways.

Doesn't anyone have to go to class?

23. This Kid Is Wearing A Bellhop Costume, Which Concerns Me Even If This Is Just Part Of The Spell

The overall imagery just makes me uncomfortable.

24. Anyway, Brad And Louise Reunite On The Dance Floor And Do This Weird Palm Thing That Has Nothing To Do With Magic

But does show that Brad has really dainty hands, so there is that.

Who else wants a rewatch right about now?!

Images: MGM (33)