I didn't think anything could ever top Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette, but I have to admit that I'm really enjoying JoJo Fletcher's season so far. And, it's not just because I love her, but also because the crop of guys the producers rounded up this time around might be the most entertaining ever. There's just one problem: Sometimes, I can't focus on the juicy drama going on because I am so distracted by Jordan Rodgers' hair on The Bachelorette. Unlike the other men, it's not just sitting on his head. No, I think it has actually developed the capability of being self-aware, and it's getting larger and more floppy with every passing episode. I am completely unable to focus in any scene he's in, because I am too busy thinking about all the things Jordan's hair looks like.
Sometimes it's fabulous, sometimes it doesn't cooperate (like during his first chat with JoJo in the premiere — UGH) and sometimes, it has a mind of its own. I'm half-convinced that, one day, it will grow legs and evacuate Jordan's head as it is probably tired of being weighed down with all that product. Hair like that isn't simply grown, everyone. It is made. Usually with a Bump It underneath, a possibility I am not ruling out at this point.
So, what does Jordan's hair look like? The answers to that question are practically limitless, but here are just a few. And first, for reference, Jordan's hair at it's... hairiest.
Also this one, because it's too good not to share.
1. A Peacock
This is obvious, I feel like.
Jersey Shore days only. Are we sure there's not a curved piece of plastic inside Jordan's poof?
3. The Pillsbury Dough Boy
But, like, if he was perched on top of Jordan's head.
4. Chandler From Friends In The College Flashbacks
Same hairstyle, I swear.
5. The Poop Emoji
Unfortunate, but true. It has that same swirl.
6. A Wasp's Nest
Seriously, any number of creatures (not just wasps) could be living in there.
They could be separated at birth.
8. Or Like He's Permanently Under Water
Speaking of The Little Mermaid, that's just the movement his hair has.
Chocolate, though, because he's brunette.
10. Ace Ventura
If these two ever met, it would be like looking in a mirror.
11. A Hershey's Kiss
Similar enough to the poop emoji to still apply to Jordan.
12. Cousin It
But, like, without the sunglasses.
13. Jimmy Neutron
Can we, as a Bachelorette fandom, agree to call Jordan Jimmy for the rest of the season? It's the only way to get through this.
Images: Rick Rowell/ABC (2), Giphy (8), NBC