Trump's Speech Was Really, Really, Really Long

Donald Trump's nomination acceptance speech was many, many things. Those looking to add to the list of accolades, which include "horrific," "dystopian," "nonsensical," "hamfisted," "illogical," and "egregious," might also wonder: Was Donald Trump's RNC speech the longest in convention history? People who actually pay attention to political history are in luck: Trump's speech, which clocked in at a whopping 75 minutes, is the longest speech since 1972 (when C-SPAN started tracking speech lengths), and is 11 minutes longer than Bill Clinton's speech at the 1996 Democratic National Convention.

USA Today pointed out that Trump's speech was even longer than President Obama and Mitt Romney's speeches 2012 convention speeches combined.

For Trump, this latest record-breaking "first" will no doubt be counted as a win; for the rest of us, we must concede that 75 minutes is very long for a speech but exceptionally short for a horror film, so it's not really that bad, right?

As for myself, I learned tonight that I'd rather listen to every single boring presentation I was subjected to in my entire time as a liberal arts undergrad (one of which included a white student's take on Kendrick Lamar's "hood politics" in his album good kid, M.A.A.D. city) on repeat for a week straight than ever have to listen to Trump talk that long about himself and his "credentials" again.

Trump's lengthy speech covered everything from how Hillary Clinton caused ISIS to how he's the voice of our generation (or at least a voice of a generation), and boy was it hard to watch — not only because of the absolute panic that staring at Trump's neon skin for more than a minute induces, but also because it was just really, really long.

Compared to other famously-long speeches, Trump's was actually super short: Hugo Chavez once gave a televised speech that lasted for eight hours, and one Scottish parliamentarian gave a marathon of a speech that lasted for 23 hours. So really, we should all just consider ourselves lucky we don't live in Venezuela and aren't members of the Scottish parliament.

Of all the terror that might accompany a Trump presidency, super-long speeches, it seems, may be one of them.