Whether you want it or not, Sharknado is back. The annual guilty pleasure has become a summer staple and to promote the fourth installment — Sharknado: The 4th Awakens — Syfy is providing a hearty schedule for Sharknado Week 2016. Taking a page out of Shark Week's book, this is Syfy's third annual week-long programming focused on all things shark. But unlike Discovery's Shark Week, Sharknado Week embraces the absurd hilariousness that fans have come to expect from the Ian Ziering franchise, so expect Sharknado Week to be far more entertaining than educational.
What's a better way to spend a summer week than by watching gruesome films about everyone's favorite aquatic animal? Well, Sharknado Week will provide you with plenty to fear and plenty to laugh at. Many of the movies will have repeat showings during the week, which runs from Sunday, July 24 to Sunday, July 31, so if you miss a movie during its first run, you can catch it on its second or third. However, I'm here to help if you're worried about missing any gory or ridiculous moments. Check out the programming of Sharknado Week below, starting at 7 p.m. on July 25, and then look for my suggestions on which movie you should make a must-watch for the week. Trust me, it's what David Hasselhoff would want you to do.
Monday, July 25
Schedule:
7 p.m.: 3-Headed Shark Attack
9 p.m.: Dam Sharks!
11 p.m.: Lake Placid 3
Must-watch movie:
Kick off your Sharknado Week with Dam Sharks! pretty much just because Syfy's description of the movie is, "Sharks in a dam. The worst" and that's enough for me.
Tuesday, July 26
Schedule:
1 a.m.: Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
7 a.m: Beast of the Bering Sea
9 a.m.: Croc
11 a.m.: Dinoshark
1 p.m.: Snakehead Swamp
3 p.m.: Lake Placid 3
5 p.m.: Lake Placid: The Final Chapter
7 p.m.: Zombie Shark
9 p.m.: Ice Sharks
11 p.m.: Mega Shark vs. Kolossus
Must-watch movie:
If you're going to watch a Lake Placid film, go with the Bill Pullman original. For Sharknado Week, I recommend checking out the premiere of Ice Sharks about scientists escaping sharks who somehow broke into a military base.
Wednesday, July 27
Schedule:
1 a.m.: Bait
3 a.m.: Snakehead Terror
7 a.m.: Eye of the Beast
9 a.m.: Beyond Loch Ness
11 a.m.: Bermuda Tentacles
1 p.m.: Sea Beast
3 p.m.: Shark Killer
5 p.m.: Ghost Shark
7 p.m.: Atomic Shark
9 p.m.: Planet of the Sharks
11 p.m.: Malibu Shark Attack
Must-watch movie:
Mix some global awareness into your B-movie week with Planet of the Sharks, which envisions a future where glacial melting has left most of the earth under water and sharks are now in charge. Bonus movie? Set the DVR for Eye of the Beast solely because it features Dawson himself — James Van Der Beek.
Thursday, July 28
Schedule:
1 a.m.: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
3 a.m.: Dinocroc vs. Supergator
7 a.m.: Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators
9 a.m.: Robocroc
11 a.m.: Dinocroc vs. Supergator
1 p.m.: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus
3 p.m.: Roboshark
5 p.m.: 3-Headed Shark Attack
7 p.m.: Swamp Shark
9 p.m.: Ozark Sharks
11 p.m.: Dark Tide
Must-watch movie:
Choose your own adventure based on which late '80s and early '90s star you prefer. If you were a fan of Debbie Gibson's music, then Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is for you since she stars in it. If you prefer the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, Kristy Swanson stars in Swamp Shark.
Friday, July 29
Schedule:
1:30 a.m.: Ghost Shark
3:30 a.m.: Chupacabra: Dark Seas
7 a.m.: Shark Killer
9 a.m.: Shark Attack
11 a.m.: Shark Attack 2
1 p.m.: Malibu Shark Attack
3 p.m.: Ice Sharks
5 p.m.: Bait
7 p.m.: Shark Night
Must-watch movie:
Start wrapping up your Sharknado Week with an 11-year-old Syfy movie — Chupacabra: Dark Seas. You'll need to set the DVR unless you're up at 3:30 a.m., but seeing John Rhys-Davies in this film will be worth it.
Saturday, July 30
Schedule:
1 a.m.: Shark Attack
3 a.m.: Shark Attack 2
9 a.m.: Shark Night
11 a.m.: 3-Headed Shark Attack
1 p.m.: Sharktopus
3 p.m.: Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda
5 p.m.: Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf
7 p.m.: Sharknado
9 p.m.: Sharknado 2: The Second One
11 p.m.: Zombie Shark
Must-watch movie:
Spend your Saturday indoors with the three Sharktopus movies — starting with Emma Roberts' dad (and Julia's brother!) Eric Roberts in the first Sharktopus and wrap it up with Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf — because yes, someone imagined a killer whale-wolf hybrid.
Sunday, July 31
Schedule:
1 a.m.: Planet of the Sharks
3 a.m: Ice Sharks
8 a.m.: Ozark Sharks
10 a.m.: Dam Sharks!
12 p.m.: Atomic Shark
2 p.m.: Sharknado
4 p.m.: Sharknado 2: The Second One
6 p.m. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
8 p.m.: Sharknado: The 4th Awakens
Must-watch movie:
You know what to do. After the week-long buildup, you are more than prepared for an eight-hour marathon of all four Sharknado movies, which wraps up with the premiere of Sharknado: The 4th Awakens. Check out Ziering, Hasselhoff, Tara Reid, and Gary Busey in all their shark-killing glory. After watching Sharknado Week, you've earned it.
Images: Tyler Golden, Patrick Wymore, Syfy (6)
