If I'm ever in need of a quick dose of birth control and I'm not on the pill, remind me to watch the Don't Be Tardy for the Party Season 5 trailer. And don't get me wrong. It's not because there's anything wrong with Kim Zolciak-Biermann and Kroy Biermann's family. On the contrary, I actually think they seem really happy together, and against all odds for a reality TV couple, I think the two of them set a great example for a loving, supportive relationship. But the reason this trailer is gonna be so effective, I think, at helping me keep my pants zipped is that it's just. So. Chaotic. If I'm getting such a severe case of anxiety just watching this very happy family interact with each other, imagine how unable to cope with it I'd be if I was right in the middle of it.
As of right now, the Zolciak-Biermann clan is eight people: Kim and Kroy, obviously, then Kim's two daughters Brielle and Ariana from previous relationships, whom Kroy has now adopted, and then four children together — KJ, Kash, and twins Kaia and Kane. The oldest, Brielle, is 19, and the twins are just 2 years old, and this entire microcosm is swirling around Kim in the trailer as she's starting her own skincare line, Kashmere, and preparing to uproot the family to follow Kroy as he faces free agency in the NFL.
Then, the Real Housewives of Atlanta alum mentions wanting to have another baby, on top of all of this. Holy crap. Just reading that is enough to work me into a panic, if just from trying to keep all the K-names straight. Watching the trailer is a whole 'nother story.
I truly don't know how Kim or any of the rest of them do it, because this would drive me crazy. But, somehow, there they are, thriving amidst it all, and wanting to add on even more. I bow down, and I'll be tuning in for Season 5 of Don't Be Tardy for the Party on Sep. 14 just to see how they manage it.