I've applied for so many jobs in my time that I could very well have turned applying for jobs into a full-time job. It also means that after a certain point, the entire process became a giant snooze-fest to me, easily summed up by these GIFs that will make you say, "Me applying for jobs." I began to view the whole scenario as so robotic, forced, and one-dimensional. I mean, what's the point of proving your worth solely on a piece of paper? As terrific as it might be, your resume will likely never come close to conveying your passion, dedication, loyalty, or the fact that you frequently bring baked goods into the office.
But it doesn't stop at resumes. Then there are the awkward interviews, where you have to politely explain to a total stranger why you're better than everyone else applying for that position. Even better is when they ask you what your weaknesses are, basically meaning that you're actively giving them reasons not to hire you. Fun!
Having finally gotten on the right path, I'm hopeful that I'll never have to endure one of these uncomfortable interviews again. However, the memories are still loud and clear in my mind, and these GIFs certainly take me back to the days of pounding the pavement, looking for a job, and in desperate need of a better paycheck.
Do they look familiar? It's OK. We've all been there.
1. Rewriting And Updating Your Resume
"Additional skills: Speed reading, elementary Spanish, eyebrows on fleek."
2. Asking Distant Friends For Favors
Nothing is more awkward than contacting someone you haven't spoken to in four years and asking for a job hook-up. "Wow! You have three kids now? And a German shepherd? That's amazing! So listen — is your company hiring?"
3. Begging For A Job — I Mean, Stating Your Qualifications — In A Cover Letter
Because simply writing "I'm better than everyone else" won't cut it.
4. Choosing References That You Know Will Give You A Glowing Review
They say not to put a friend or relative. So I'll definitely list my sister.
5. Attaching Your Resume, Then Having To Enter Your Entire Work History
WHAT'S THE POINT?
6. Cleaning Up Your Social Media
As impressive as your beer bonging skills used to be, that pic from spring break 2010 in Cancun? Yeeeeeah. That's gotta go.
7. Deciding On An Ensemble
You want to find that perfect combination of powerful but loyal but confident but dedicated but sassy but obedient but smart but humble but strong but collaborative. Shouldn't be that hard.
8. Arriving For Your Interview 40 Minutes Early
You give yourself plenty of extra time in case there's an accident or traffic or aliens landing or whatever. Then you end up in the parking lot with nothing to do but pick your nose.
9. Answering All Of The Same Boring Interview Questions
You ever get sick of people asking why they should hire you? Let's be honest: We all know you're fabulous.
10. Following Up... Persistently
You don't want to annoy them by emailing every day; so you switch it up between emailing, calling, and sending messenger pigeons. Sometimes you call, get scared, and hang up.
11. Negotiating A Salary
At the rate they offered, you'll definitely have to go back to using generic cotton swabs instead of name brand ones, and those things poke your ears. Not gonna fly. But you hate talking about money, so you counter their offer with a simple, "I can't do less than $45,000 a year, but if that's out of your budget, I'll do $40,000, but if you can go as high as $42,000, I would prefer that, but if your original offer is final, I'll do that too." (But hey, guess what? Negotiating a salary can be learned! Here's how to do it.)
12. Accepting An Offer Without Sounding Too Excited
*don't sound desperate, don't sound desperate, don't sound desperate*
HR person: "We'd like to offer you—"