"Wine Queen" Is An Official Job In This German Town So I Guess We're All Moving There

If you're looking to spruce up that bare post-grad resume, then worry no longer — if you play your cards right, you can be this German town's next "Wine Queen". NBC News reported on Saturday that the German river town of Kesten, home to 25 wineries and 350 residents, elects a "Wine Queen" every year to taste local wines and serve as a town ambassador. In other words, becoming "Wine Queen" is the only thing on the planet better than living out your childhood dream of becoming an actual Disney Princess. But there's a plot twist to this fairy tale even more shocking than Hans' allegiances in Frozen — NONE OF THE WOMEN IN THIS TOWN WANTED TO BE WINE QUEEN THIS YEAR. Not a ONE.

While I am low key concerned for the priorities of these humans, this story does, at least, have a happy ending. This year's "Wine Queen" is none other than Sven Finke, a 24-year-old law student who must appreciate wine more than the majority of the women in his town this year. Finke said he first applied as a joke — but as we all know, wine is no joke. He got the gig, and is carrying it out with the utmost dignity.

"After the present wine queen already added a third year to her duties because they could not find a successor, I jokingly said that I would take the wine queen job," Finke explained to NBC News.

Although this is news to me, apparently Wine Queen is not an uncommon thing in Germany. In fact, there are 13 Wine Queens in Germany representing different regions every year, and they all compete for the title of Wine Queen of Germany, who reigns for a full calendar year. The tradition started in 1931, and since then Wine Queens have been put through rigorous competitions answering series of oral questions about wine, guiding a "confused foreign tourist" through a winery, and fielding questions on the spot at a gala in the final round. Finke hasn't commented on whether he'd be competing for this title, but judging by his impressive press photos, he looks like a serious contender.

In other news, I am deeply disappointed in the United States for not jumping on board with this trend, but I am also taking this opportunity to name myself Rosé Princess Of Midtown Manhattan, on the basis of I drink a lot of rosé and I'm good at it. You're welcome, fellow citizens.

Of course, mad respect to the OG Wine Queen, aka drunk SNL Cinderella.

Forever may she and Sven reign.

Images: Universal Pictures; Giphy