Julie Krause, author of the parenting and pregnancy blog, Baby Rabies, is offering a much needed refresher course on how to treat pregnant women correctly. The expectant mother of three recently posted a video PSA hilariously outlining all the things not to say to pregnant women, and its message is important AF. Swollen feet, morning sickness, gestating a tiny human life — pregnant women have enough to deal with without being pestered constantly about their size and due date. Being pregnant is not a conversational opening, people. Unfortunately, it seems a large portion of non-pregnant public are having trouble getting this into their heads.
It was an unpleasant personal experience that inspired Julie to make the video and create her blog post “What (Not) To Say To A Pregnant Woman.” She was confronted at her local grocery store by a stranger demanding to know her due date. "I don’t mind sharing my due date," Julie writes, "but people aren’t entitled to it, you know?" This personal piece of information has become something of a default question, Julie points out. And though it was none of the guy's bees wax, Julie shared her date and turned away.
“Damn. You SURE it’s not twins?” the man responded.
“I promise, there are two things we are certain of, and it’s the number of inhabitants in our uterus, and when they are expected to GTFO,” Julie quips in her blog. Amen.
In the video, Julie stresses that one should never comment on a person's pregnancy... or appearance. Period. If (for some crazy reason) you are compelled to speak, Julie suggests keeping the commentary to three little words: "You look amazing."
It doesn't matter the woman's size, shape, or demeanor, any further questions or commentary is just not appropriate. "There is no other human condition in which it seems to be acceptable for a stranger to approach someone and make comments about their body," Julie writes. "I mean, I could have asked that guy if he was SURE he wasn't drinking a six pack a night based on his beer gut, but that's not appropriate."
If "You look amazing" doesn't feel right, Julie recommends "Congratulations!" or "You're glowing!" as acceptable alternatives. Even if these statements feel like "lies," they are far better then the seemingly innocent jokes so often made at a pregnant woman's expense (no, I'm not lugging around all of the Jackson Five, I am just eight months pregnant, thank you very much). If you are having trouble finding for the right words, Julie suggests that the best thing you can do is not say anything at all. That's right. Zip it.
With over 1.3 million views on Facebook and thousands of likes, the video is hitting a chord with women everywhere. The comment section is filled with tales of similarly uncomfortable and inappropriate experiences. It seems strangers still think that it is OK to try and touch a pregnant woman's stomach? Wow.
Check out Julie's video to get the low-down on basic pregnancy etiquette:
C'mon people, it's not that hard!