9 Cures For Your Presidential Debate Hangover
If you thought you used up all of your "Dude, what happened last night?"s in college, then THINK AGAIN, America. Monday night's presidential debate had us all waking up Tuesday morning with a presidential debate hangover unlike any we'd ever experienced. Maybe you took a bottle of wine to the face last night (props) and maybe you didn't, but it doesn't matter. Televised presidential debates are the great equalizer of the hangover world. I'd be surprised if Lester Holt isn't hooked up to a vitamin drip IV and Seamless-ing greasy eggs from a diner somewhere right now.
"How did these hangovers happen in the first place?" you may be wondering. Because science, guys. (Just kidding, it was because your blood pressure rose through the roof after watching Donald Trump interrupt Hillary Clinton a total of 51 times and because you whammed your head into the closest large wooden object when he started talking about her "temperament," but I digress.) The question now isn't how these debate hangovers came to pass, but how we can go about saving ourselves from them and get through the rest of this long, long work week. Here are a few ideas for shaking off that debate hangover, brought to you by me.
Watch These Adorable Children Recap The Debate
And try not to feel guilty about the world they are potentially inheriting. (Oops, our bad.)
Bake All Of Your Existential Fright Into A Pie And Cathartically Consume It In One Sitting
Mmmm, tastes like apples and a slow tailspin into the darkness.
Eat A Lunchable, Draw Your Blackout Curtains, And Pretend It's 1996
It was someone else's job to worry about all that voting nonsense back then.
Cast A Cleansing Emoji Spell
Emoji magic is real and it may be America's last hope.
Text All Of Your Exes And Tell Them You Still Love Them
Hot mess? Sure. But arguably much more manageable than the state of our current election cycle!
DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST WATCH.
Listen To This Supercut Of Donald Trump Sniffling
How can so much happen in six seconds?! Good God.
Never Interrupt Anybody Ever Again
Especially if you're a dude talking to a woman about something she has decades more experience with than you (just saying).
Find Whoever Had The Idea To Do This On A Monday And Make Them Listen To Nickelback Until They Beg For Mercy
I will find you, you monster. Revenge will taste so sweet.