'Love At First Kiss' Can Get Awkward

These days, there’s no shortage of reality shows that speed up the courtship process, but it goes without saying that TLC's Love At First Kiss can be exceptionally awkward for those involved. The premise, for the unenlightened, is that two strangers enter a room and kiss right upon meeting. Based on the success of that kiss, they can choose to go on a two minute speed date (and maybe even date in real life if they so choose), or they can choose to bail. It's an interesting concept that makes for great television, but, as you can imagine, it also makes for more awkward kisses than not. But hey, don't worry, I've collected the receipts.

Now, I wanna be very clear that I am not trying to bash these folks on their merits of being human beings, I’m sure they’re all very good people who deserve to fall in love. Likewise, I am not a kissing expert, and have had many awkward spit-swapping interactions myself. I am not judging, because I have no right to. Anyway, this is more of a critique on compatibility, and lack there of... although sometimes it’s hard to ignore that these contestants are characters.

Scroll down to get a taste of what I mean!

1. This Send-Off

So, Shad and Aleska display a whole lot of tongue here. Like they really go for the full lipstick-smearing gusto, and that is... whatever. But then Shad caps it off with "Thank you for kissing me," and the regret kicks in for all of us, but mostly him.

2. This All-Upper Lip Kiss

Jennifer, a mythical creature with Rapunzel hair on a Kardashian body, is the dominant one in this particular kiss. It's not the veritable worst, but it is all tongue and upper lip, and it ends with a hair swish that I caught a breeze off from behind this screen. Magnificent.

3. This, Which Requires You To Turn The Volume Down

Shondo has this technique called the "whirly dirly," which he uses on Amanda Panda. They both seem to have big personalities (i.e. I think Amanda Panda is literally The Little Mermaid after she dumped Prince Eric and decided to be free) so it seemingly works for them. For the rest of us, however, it is so loud. Like, that awful couple who would always make out next to your locker in high school between Chemistry and World Lit loud. The mic is picking up everything there.

4. This Hair Kiss

So, when Josh debuts on the show, he is new to kissing — so, maybe as kind human beings we should be nice to him in that respect. After all, whose first kiss is actually good? Still, it would be dishonest to not list him as the three-time awkward kiss champion, beginning with this legit hair kiss and then a hug that makes me very sad.

5. This Second Attempt, Teeth First

Josh part two awkward kiss at least makes it on the mouth, yet still stops before the tongue, settling somewhere on Annalisa's incisors. Oh, dear.

6. This Still Hard-To-Watch Third Try, Which Somehow Ends Successfully

I guess this looks a lot more like something resembling a kiss, so brownie points for that. I'm just concerned by whatever Roxane is doing here, because it looks like a whole lot of strong, non-reaction. Then again, what do I know, because these two crazy kids end up getting engaged.

7. This Low-Key Staredown

Alex seems to be keeping his eyes open during this one — and I get that he's trying to double-check that the kiss is going well, I respect that, but it's still super weird to watch.

8. This Kiss, Which Seems "Perfect" Until You Get The Recap

Sarati absolutely cannot get over the fact that her suitor doesn't look the part of a clean cut gentleman, and that he has gauges. Which is sad, because a man is not his gauges.

9. This Other Kiss, With A Twist Ending

Sarati somehow seems to be having fun with Kyle, and Kyle finds his technique to be "flawless." And yet, while I am pro-biting, why is it painful for me to see him bite her lip and extend it for miiiiiiiles?

10. This, Which Actually Goes So Well You Need To Give These Two A Minute To Be Alone

But also the arm grazing is a little weird, right? Like not crazy weird, but split second side-eye weird.

11. This Kiss Which Doesn’t Happen

*Puts head in hands*

Oh well. Whether their kiss is just weird for us to watch, or their make out sesh was universally difficult to bear, hopefully all these couples will some sort of happily ever after, together or not.

Images: TLC (1)