How To Tell If Your Date Only Wants A Hookup

Since apparently the "Dating Apocalypse" is upon us, love has taken a back seat to getting laid for some, so there’s a good chance you’ll find yourself, at some point, on a date with someone who just wants sex. Sure, they might be interested in your mind, your wit, the funny ways your face squirms when you get a mouth full of jalapeños when you bite into your burrito, but ultimately it might be sex they have on their mind more than anything else. This is great, if that’s what you’re looking for, too, but it's not so great if you’re looking for something a bit more involved.

But the good thing about people who are just looking to hook up is that they’re rarely subtle about their intentions, even if they think they’re being subtle. “There are lots of signs that tell you if [someone] is into you only to get laid,” Loveologist and Sex Coach, Domina Doll asks Bustle.

Here are seven signs that the person you’re dating is just interested in sex, because while there's certainly nothing wrong with that, it is important to be on the same page about what you're looking for.

1. Excessive Ogling

If your date is just into you for sex, the excessive ogling, “to stare in a lecherous manner,” is a constant. So much so that “You feel like you need to wear a t-shirt that says, 'Hey… my eyes are up here!'" says Doll.

2. They're Overly Touchy-Feely

Touching is great! Especially when it’s consensual and you’re both on the same page. But it’s when that touching gets a little too handsy, as in your date can easily find any reason at all to touch you, then it’s easy to figure out where their intentions lie. I mean, talking about how badly the Yankees did this season doesn't warrant a hand on your arm, no matter how disappointed you might be.

3. They Keep Bringing Sex Up

From sexting, to dirty talk, to making sure sex is always part of the conversation, if your date is only into you for sex then sex is going to be a theme. Granted, dirty talk is always fun, but if they don't want to talk about anything else, even the damn weather for that matter, then that’s a pretty major sign right there.

4. Space Invading

Someone who’s only looking for sex is also a “space invader,” according to Doll. They want to crowd your personal space in a way that can feel almost suffocating, which, with all that touching going on, can’t be even remotely surprising.

5. Intentional Low Talking

Although Doll calls this type a “Pussy Whisperer,” what this person also is is a “low talker,” and you don’t have to have seen that Seinfeld episode to know what that means. This is when people talk quietly on purpose so you’re forced to lean in close, creating an intimacy that isn’t found when you’re shouting across a table at a crowded bar. It also gives them the ideal opportunity to up their touchy-feely game and maybe even plant a kiss on your cheek.

6. Using Pet Names

Although having pet names for our significant others is just part of being in a relationship or even casual dating, the pet names used by someone who only wants sex are a bit different. “[If they] only call you by pet names like ‘Sexy,’ ‘Babe,’ or ‘Love Muffins,’ and compliment you on your body instead of your brains (or other awesome features),” says Doll, then the writing is pretty much on the wall.

7. Your Intuition Kicks In

“You can feel it deep down inside and know [they] only want you for a booty call,” Doll says, “because your body has what’s known as ‘womb wisdom’ — your own personal GPS — that gives you that gut feeling that is usually always right.” In that case, if you’re not DTF, too, it’s time to take off and find someone who’s looking for the same thing as you. But, if this casual sex relationship is exactly what you’re looking for, then go for it and enjoy the ride.

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