Stop right now (thank you very much), because this news is larger than life: According to The Sun, Brian Littrell said a Backstreet Boys/Spice Girls world tour may be a thing. Go ahead and read that again. I’ll wait. Does it seem too good to be real? I know. I’m right there with you. I'm going to let it all out now. Feel free to join me: AHHHHHHHHHHHH OMGZZZZ I CAN’T FEEL MY BODY THE SUN BETTER NOT BE PULLING OUR LEG SOMEONE GET ME A COLD COMPRESS.
Okay. I've simmered down. But holy crap. The Backstreet Boys AND the Spice Girls. This is major. It’d be two of the most legendary pop acts from the late 90s/early 00s joining musical forces. When BSB went on tour with New Kids on the Block in 2011-2012, that seemed like the be-all end-all pop concert. I might've missed the NKOTB boat way back when, but I can acknowledge that this tour was too epic for words. However, the Spice Girls are one of the most important musical acts in my life, so this pairing takes the cake. No disrespect to NKOTB, but I've been emitting a continuous wail ever since I read about the possibility of a Spice Girls/BSB tour. I love me some BSB and I LOVE me some Spice Girls. Present tense. Once a tween, always a tween.
This would be the first Spice Girls tour since 2007-2008's Return of the Spice Girls. Yeah, they did their thing at the 2012 Olympics (still haven’t moved on), but there weren’t any subsequent concert dates. There has been a lot of Spice Girls reunion talk lately (will they?! Won’t they?! Las Vegas?! Wait, BUT WHAT ABOUT POSH SPICE?!?!?), and I've tried my best to stay calm.
But Littrell's words obliterated my calm. I am a wreck.
What do I want from a BSB/Spice Girls tour? Quite frankly, I just want it to be real. Beyond that? Eh, I have a few wishes:
An “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)”/“Spice Up Your Life” Mashup
Honestly, I’d be happy with any BSB/Spice Girls mashup. Unless it was, like, "Mama" and "The Call." Those songs are great on their own, but they wouldn't really mesh well together. It'd be a confusing choice, to say the least.
The case for "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" and "Spice Up Your Life"? Picture the Spice Girls doing the “Rock your body right” dance move alongside BSB. And then, picture BSB doing the "Slam it to the left/Shake it to the right," moves alongside the Spice Girls. And then, picture BSB and the Spice Girls performing their songs simultaneously but harmoniously. AUGHHHHHHHHHHH.
If that doesn't speak to you, will "I Wannabe It That Way" do?
Numerous Crying breaks
For the audience's sake, the setlist should include many brief intermissions. Have you ever been to a BSB show and/or a Spice Girls show? Then you know. You know how emotionally draining those shows can be. And woo boy, the combo could be overwhelming. Everyone in attendance would need to take multiple moments throughout the show to sit down. To catch their breath. To shed some tears. To pull themselves together.
The White Costumes from “I Want It That Way”
Hey, BSB? Dust off those white threads (oh, they could probably use some bleach, too) and break ‘em out for the tour, please! Why? Oh, I don’t know. maybe because they’re ICONIC:
Side note: If white bucket hats aren't available for purchase at the merch counter, I'll be sorely disappointed.
Geri Halliwell’s Union Jack dress Makes a Comeback
Again, it's ICONIC. No further explanation necessary.
A Victoria Beckham hologram
It’s a bummer that Posh Spice isn’t feeling a reunion. But as disappointed as I am, I can’t hold it against her. Life goes on, people change, et cetera. If she’s done with the pop star thing, so be it. Don't mind me while I quietly sob into my pillow.
If we can’t have Posh Spice, would it be too much to ask for a Posh Spice hologram? For like, one song?
Ugh, who am I kidding? Nothing/no one could fill the void left by Beckham. Scratch the hologram idea. I'm sorry I ever suggested it. The other Spice Girls would look at the Posh-o-gram and be like: