There are three types of people on this planet we call Earth: Those who suspect Kylie Jenner is part of Terror Jr., those who suspect Kylie Jenner is not part of Terror Jr., and those who couldn't care about any of this if their life depended on it. I, for one, proudly belong in the first category. Ever since that "3 Strikes"-soundtracked Kylie Cosmetics ad dropped earlier this year, I've been dying to know whether not the lip gloss maven is the frontwoman of the pop outfit. Could the elusive chanteuse in that pink wig be Kristen Mary Jenner’s youngest child? Could Terror Jr. be Kylie Jenner’s secret music side project? Is Kylie Jenner a real life Hannah Montana? The months have rolled by, and we still do not have an answer. But do you know what we do have? Terror Jr.’s very first EP, Bop City.
On Friday, Felix Snow, David “Campa” Benjamin Singer-Vine, and Lisa “I Promise I’m Probably Not Kylie Jenner You Guys” Terror released their first EP. And as the name suggests, it is a veritable city of bops. A township of jams. A municipality of groovy tunes. (And might I add, a very good one — seriously, this album is a mix of great earworms from start to finish.)
Now, I realize I'm biased (i.e., I really want the Kylie-is-Lisa-Terror thing to be real), but I genuinely believe all eight songs boast The Kylie Vibe. And to illustrate what I mean, I’ve graded each Bop City song on the Kylie-ness of the sound. These scores have less to do with the lyrical content or the mystery singer’s voice, and more to do with the record’s overall energy. The aura. The Kylie Vibe.
1. “Little White Bars”
Kylie Vibe Score: Something about the production makes me feel like I'm on a yacht with seafoam green hair. 10/10.
Kylie Vibe Score: This one is as flavor-packed as a kumquat. 10/10.
Kylie Vibe Score: That hook is as slick ’n’ vibrant as a tube of Kourt K lip gloss. 10/10.
4. “Come First”
Kylie Vibe Score: This reminds me of driving down the PCH at dawn. The sky is a Snapchat-worthy shade of purpley-orange, the birds of Malibu are singing, and the day has yet to put all of its weight on your shoulders. 10/10.
5. “Say So”
Kylie Vibe Score: The perfect jam to fire up when you want to take Norman the Italian Greyhound for a walk. 10/10.
6. “Super Powers”
Kylie Vibe Score: If “Come First” is Malibu at sunup, “Super Powers” is the commute back to Calabasas after a long night at the Hollywood and Highland Dave and Busters with family and friends and camera crews. 10/10.
7. “3 Strikes”
Kylie Vibe Score: I mean, it’s the Kylie Cosmetics commercial song. 10/10.
Kylie Vibe Score: “When we lie together, it's the truth/When we lie together, it's the truth/When we lie together, it's the truth.” What is truth? What is a lie? Who is Lisa Terror? 10/10.
Wow. Eight 10/10 scores? That can only mean one thing: Whether she's in Terror Jr. or not, Bop City is so Kylie.
Image: Effess Records