No two breakups are the same. Sure, they may have similarities and tend to stir up negative emotions, but they're usually upsetting for a wide range of different reasons. No matter what kind of relationship ended though — whether it was with someone you've been with for years or with someone you've only been seeing for a short period of time — there are things you should always do immediately following a breakup.
"There is an art to breaking up with someone," Audrey Hope, a celebrity relationship expert, tells Bustle. "If you do what needs to be done, you can sail through it."
Regardless of who ended the relationship or how it came to an end, it's common to feel a wide range of emotions after the breakup, which makes this a time where your needs should be your top priority in order to move past this.Taking time to heal after splitting up with your partner is vital for a healthy transition into being single and eventually a new relationship. So what are the things you need to do after ending a relationship?
Here are nine things you should always do immediately following a breakup, according to Hope.
1. Meet Up With Your Loved Ones
Immediately following a breakup, it's important to surround yourself with people who love you. Meet up with your friends and visit your family. Your loved ones care about your wellbeing and they'll keep you distracted from thoughts about your ex. "Talk to them, laugh and make dinner plans," Hope says. "Basically spend as much time as you can with friends and as little time alone as possible."
2. Get Out Of Town
If you can afford to take time off, consider going on a trip for a physical break from your breakup. "There is nothing like a change of atmosphere to help the heart," Hope says. "Even better is a trip to a spa where you can pamper your body. Get that love out of your system, literally."
3. Talk It Out With A Professional
Talking to your friends is a great way to cope with a breakup, but sometimes the situation calls for a professional. Enlisting the help of a therapist will help ease you through this new transition and can give you great advice. "Don't be shy or ashamed to have your own therapist on hand," Hope says. Never feel bad about seeking help when you need it.
4. Distance Yourself From The Relationship
If possible, try to avoid any places you might bump into your ex. Take this as an opportunity to try out new restaurants instead of you and your ex's go-to spot. "It is true that absence will help you heal," Hope says.
Another way to distance yourself from your relationship is by not asking questions about your ex. Don't ask your mutual friends what your ex is up to and stop following your ex on social media. "Dissolve all accounts, numbers, and names that lead to this person," Hope says. "Do a complete energy makeover and stay clear of their negative energy."
5. Throw Out Any Reminders
Get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex. "Dump everything that reminds you of this person," Hope says. Physically say goodbye to the relationship by ridding yourself of any leftover mementos from your ex.
6. Take Time Away From The Dating Scene
You should steer clear of jumping right back into dating immediately after a breakup. Taking time to adjust to being single will help you get to know who you are apart from your past relationship. "Enjoy being single so you can digest everything that has happened and learn from the experience," Hope says. "Prepare for the future and future relationships by taking a pause from significant others, and relax with yourself."
7. Follow Your Passions
Take this time alone to do something you love or have always been interested in. "Take that class you always wanted to try, or the hobby you always aspired to do, or read that book you never had time for," Hope says. "Be passionate and grateful about daring to dream again."
8. Take Care Of Yourself
Breakups are exhausting, so take some time to recoup from it. "Regroup and take care of your mind, body, and soul," Hope says. "Stay in bed and watch TV shows with a big comfortable blanket around yourself."
Taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional health is a vital step to take right after a breakup, so don't feel bad about hitting that snooze button.
9. Treat Yo Self
While you never need a reason to treat yourself, indulging in things you love is a great way to heal from a breakup. "Have some ice cream and cookies and enjoy the nutritional love," Hope says. Enjoying simple pleasures can go a long way. Go ahead and do whatever makes you feel good.
If you've just gone through a breakup, taking care of yourself is key to transitioning into a healthy, happy life without your partner.
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