11 Things You Wish You Could Have Assured Your '90s Self Would Happen Eventually
If you lived through the '90s, you had a unique set of worries. The biggest '90s problems messed with us all, leaving us feeling like there might not actually be any hope for the future. But now, nearly two decades on, we know that many of our '90s stresses didn't need to be stressed about at all. And if we could build a time machine and go back, not only would we have an awesome adventure ('90s kids get it), but we'd also assure our '90s selves certain things would happen eventually, so we could chill out and just let the decade's good times roll.
From deathly slow internet speeds to our Hollywood crushes, things change. Some other things — things we loved, such as styles and pop culture — haven't really changed all that much. So there are some things from the '90s we ended up saying goodbye to, but some things from the '90s we genuinely miss, but eventually didn't have to miss at all. Hindsight really is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Nineties kids will understand the emotions we went through when the era was ending, and they'll also understand these 11 things we wish our '90s selves would have known sooner.
1. That Winona Ryder Would Be Back
Winona Ryder was the Queen of the '90s. By the end of the '90s, though, for various reasons, she'd kind of petered out. If we could go back in time, we'd hug our '90s selves and whisper softly, "Winona will rise again."
2. That We'd Never Have To Hear The Dial Up Internet Sound Again
How happy would you have been if someone had've told you THAT news in the '90s?
3. That Every Show We Ever Loved Would Get A Reboot
You name it: Full House, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers. We'd love to assure our '90s selves that good things don't always necessarily come to an end (for better or worse).
4. That All Our Purple Lipsticks Would Be Useful Again
As the '90s came to a close you probably thought to yourself, "What am I going to do with this draw of purple lipstick?" Well, hopefully you didn't actually keep it because that would be gross, but also, by 2014, that lipstick would be like gold in fashion.
5. That Chokers Would Never Really Die As A Trend
Like all those lipsticks, we'd tell our '90s selves that eventually, the choker would prove itself eternal.
6. That Leonardo DiCaprio Wouldn't Be As Heartbreakingly Cute As A Grown Ass Man
Every day in the '90s we lived with the exquisite pain of knowing we would (most probably) never kiss Leonardo DiCaprio's cherubic face. If we could go back and say anything to those lovelorn uses of yore, it would be that as a grown man, Leo is not half as crushable, and that eventually, the heartbreak ends.
7. That Pokemon Would Revisit You With A Vengeance
Rest assured '90s Pokemon trainers: one day you'd be catching them all IN THE REAL WORLD. Much better than Pokemon playing cards and the pixellated images on old Pokemon games where you typed commands. The Pokemon revolution would be a post '90s thing.
8. That Mean Girls Would Be Gloriously Born Into The World
Clueless was your '90s movie Bible. Giddily, you'd love to go back in time and tell your '90s self that things were about to get EVEN BETTER. Mean Girls was on its way into the world...
9. That Beyoncé Would Spread Her Wings And Fly From The Destiny's Child Chrysalis To Become Queen Of The Actual Universe
Do you think your tiny '90s brain would even be able to comprehend the future slay-dom of Beyonce?
10. That Maybe A Woman Might Just Become President
First, TOUCH ALL THE WOOD. But it might be nice to tell little '90s you that yes, the world would progress to a point where a woman might actually make it to be POTUS. Sure, women's rights aren't exactly perfect, but even the idea of a female President in the '90s was kind of a unicorn. Now it might be a reality *furiously touches all the wood*.
11. That We Would Never Have To Wait 35 Years, 17 Hours, and 45 Minutes For A Download Ever Again
Remember '90s download speeds? Imagine if you could go back and assure your impatient, annoyed self that one day downloads would happen in a split second, and that you'd never have to see a sign flash up saying your download would take YEARS to complete, ever again.