It’s true that sometimes women fake orgasms because they want to get it over with and get back to whatever they were doing beforehand. It’s also true that women sometimes fake orgasms to be nice, or because they’re nervous about asking for what they want from their partners. But apparently, there’s another reason why we do it, too: Faking it ‘til we make it. Literally.
Researchers at Temple University and Kenyon College recently unveiled a new study examining why women fake orgasms. After surveying 481 sexually active heterosexual females who were not in serious relationships, they determined that four main factors influence women to fake it:
- Altruistic deceit — that is, faking out of concern for a partner’s feelings;
- Fear and insecurity — a tactic to avoid negative emotions associated with sexual experiences;
- Elevated arousal — an attempt to increase arousal in oneself; and
- Sexual adjournment — faking an orgasm to end sex.
That’s right: According to number three on the list, faking an orgasm may help us to reach actual orgasm. In acting terms (once a theatre person, always a theatre person), it’s kind of the anti-Method: Instead of working from the inside out, e.g., trying to recall the feeling from a memory, you work from the outside in — getting yourself worked up enough on the outside that it’ll generate what you need on the inside. Iiiiiiiiinteresting.
Image: Bustle Stock Photo
Of course, the one problem with faking it is that it gives positive reinforcement where quite possibly there shouldn’t be any. Let’s not underestimate the value of communication: If whatever your partner is doing isn’t actual working for you, tell him or her what you do need to be happening. The sex will be way better in the long the run. Everybody wins!