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James Comey Is Laying Low Right Now
On October 28, FBI director James Comey announced the "discovery" of a number of "new" emails from Hillary Clinton's personal email server, with the strong implication that these emails might contain evidence of criminality on Clinton's part. Since then, Comey has announced that all the emails have been reviewed by the FBI, and actually, there is still no evidence of criminal conduct by Clinton. But you can't unring a bell, and with a Donald Trump looking more and more likely as Election Night wears on, our attention must turn to the factors that brought us here, and Comey's announcement must be considered as a possible factor. With election results pouring in and the race tighter than many anticipated, what is FBI director James Comey doing right now?
Comey doesn't have a Twitter account, which means we can't access the unfathomable inner workings of his extremely curious mind quite as easily as we could find out what Trump was thinking — before his campaign reportedly took his Twitter account away from him two days before the election, that is. Though Comey may be just as erratic and questionably fit for office, he has at least less of a direct presence on social media, which may be just as well.
But the question remains — what is Comey up to right now? While we cannot pretend to know what motivates Comey, what drove him to announce the bizarre "discovery" of new emails that, ultimately, yielded nothing, we can speculate on what he may be doing as he watches the election returns along with the rest of us.
Singing Karaoke
Comey's choice is probably one that the rest of us would find questionable, something that we all knew was a one-hit wonder not out of sheer lyric genius, but of its seemingly obvious badness. "Friday" by Rebecca Black is a solid candidate for this role, as was Donald Trump.
Eating Nachos
Nachos are a great snack food for binge-eating while binge-watching, especially if you are possibly watching the election of someone who has declared he "love[s] Hispanics."
Reading The @JamesComeyFBI Twitter And Giggling
This is an optimistic guess, but it sure would say something unexpected about Comey if he were found to be quietly scrolling through this parody Twitter account, laughing to himself in the dark about how funny it would have been if he had actually tweeted "Oops" as the results came in Tuesday night.
