Who is Courtney Stodden, and why is she making waves in the underworld? The 19-year-old is a self-proclaimed "Reality Personality, Model, Actress" and "Animal Rights Activist," and she gained notoriety in 2011 for marrying a man 34 years her senior. She was 16 when they tied the knot. Stodden and then-husband, Doug Hutchison, subsequently appeared on the VH1 show Couples Therapy because, for some odd reason, everything wasn't going swimmingly in their relationship. They split after two and a half years, citing (get ready for it) their age difference. And now the young lady is making more headlines: Courtney Stodden posed on Marilyn Monroe's grave, as well as other famous faces' final resting places.
Stodden decided to stop by Breastwood — whoops, Westwood — Cemetery to pay her respects to the celebrititties-- I'm sorry, celebrities-- buried there. She made her breast-- I mean best-- effort to conduct herself with the propriety that such a location requires. In other words, she trotted out her mammaries in memory of all the acting greats who have gone before her.
I'm sorry, world, that we have lived to see such times. I'm sorry, Farrah Fawcett, that your gravestone was the staid background for a crouching woman wearing a bra and four-inch heels. In grass, no less. I'm sorry that this photo has hundreds of likes on Instagram.
I'm truly sorry, Marilyn Monroe, that someone is making a duck face in front of your final resting place.
Finally, I am sorry that this person has gained national attention for exposing herself in a cemetery. In writing about it, I am adding my voice to the stream of attention that allows people like Stodden to make a name for themselves. This feels terrible. Then again, I didn't marry a 50-year-old at the age of 16. Grief makes a person do inexplicable things, and maybe this cemetery visit is Stodden's way of mourning for her lost youth. Like the stars she poses next to, her days of innocence are long dead and buried, and they fade farther into obscurity with each passing year. Even if we were to insist on tit for tat, castigating Stodden will never bring back the teenage years that could have been. Instead of Couples Therapy, she could have aimed for Teen Mom, America's Next Top Model or Duckface Dynasty (a spinoff of the famous show). Alas, these other options were not to be, and Stodden remains both a tragic and comic figure in the history of reality television.