My mom offered to buy me a vibrator when I was 13. At the time, I was totally grossed out — like, EW MOM! — but in retrospect, that was an awesome, sex positive, badass thing for her to do. She realized that I was a sexual person and, even though I was young, she wanted to give me the tools to help explore my sexuality safely. I never took her up on her offer but, now, 16 years later, I’m thinking I might buy my mom a vibrator for the holidays — or at least a gift certificate to a good sex shop.
Because here’s the thing about getting older: Your sexuality doesn’t disappear. Just because my mom is past the AARP membership starting age doesn’t mean she’s not still having sex — and I’d be willing to bet it’s the same for your mom, too. Solo or partnered, our moms are still getting it on. And while we have access to great websites and sex positive sex toy shops, some of our moms are a bit less technologically inclined than we are or just might not feel comfortable going to such a store. Or, even if they do, they might not live near any good ones! So why not help a mom out?
When I first had this idea, I figured I’d just pick out a vibrator and send it to my mom. It’s kind of my area of expertise, right? I’ve been writing about sex toys for half a decade; surely I can find a good one for my mom. Plus, she’d offered to do the same for me all those years ago, so obviously she’s down with this kind of gift giving. But Joan Price, author of the book Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty How to Maintain — or Regain — a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, kindly pointed out to me that might not be the best idea.
“I don’t recommend picking out your mom’s vibrator for her,” Price tells Bustle. “She might find that icky because she would rather you didn’t imagine what her vulva might enjoy. Even if she would love a sex toy, unless you’ve had long, intimate conversations about this, you don’t know her needs or preferences. You don’t want to get her a dildo when she really wants a clitoral stimulator, or vice versa. You don’t want to disappoint her with a vibrator that’s too weak, or too heavy, or just wrong for her (though right for you).”
Price went on to suggest that instead of picking out a toy for my mom, it might be better to buy her a gift certificate to a “progressive, education-based sex toy shop,” like Babeland, The Smitten Kitten, or Good Vibrations. However, if those sites are too intimidating for your mom (or you just know she hates online shopping), Price has reviewed around a hundred sex toys from a senior perspective on her site Naked at Our Age. You can check out her full list on her site, or show your mom these seven tested sex toys for the over 50 set.
The Rumble is a vibrator that Price describes as “well-designed, well-made, body-safe, and fairly strong” and great for anyone who has arthritis, due to its light weight. The controls are also large enough to see and light up, which is essential for someone with vision problems.
“As we age, many of us find that arousal is slower and reaching orgasm is more difficult,” Price says. “A well-chosen, well-placed vibrator can be the difference between orgasm and no orgasm — it’s sometimes that simple.”
3. Minna Limon
The Minna Limon is my current go-to recommendation (I actually already recommended it to my mom), so I was pumped to see that Price also recommends it. The Limon lets you adjust the intensity by squeezing and even record your own patterns or intensity so it keeps going as long as you want.
Price says that the Palm Power Massager — now with a rechargeable, cord-free option — is her favorite vibe because it’s “really strong,” body safe, lightweight, easy to turn on and adjust, and difficult to accidentally change the intensity of it. Check out her full review here.
5. Prism V
Price recommends the Prism V from L’amourose because it’s “a curvaceous work of art that happens to be a deep, strong, and rumbly G-spot vibrator.” In her full review, she also points out that vibrations extend to the handle, but not enough to aggravate arthritic wrists.
This clitoral suction vibrator is a sex toy that gives “fast orgasms” to the “aging woman,” according to Price. While she loves just about everything about the Womanizer W500, she does hate the name. Her solution? She renamed hers Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
Getting a sex toy for your mom may not be the right move for everyone, but if it is something you (and your mom) are comfortable with, you can check out even more of Price's sex toy reccomendations at Naked At Our Age.
Images: Fotolia; Courtesy of Brands