Kim Is Up To Something Suspicious

Kim Kardashian is up to something and it's time to get to the bottom of it. When Kim Kardashian posts one slow motion video of herself in a bathing suit, that's one thing. But when Kim Kardashian posts another slow motion video of herself in a bathing suit and adds the caption, "Coming soon," then it's time to get worried. What is coming soon, Kim? What???

The video shows Kardashian emerging from a swimming pool in slow-mo with a manic jump cut that shows her flipping her wet hair. There's an ominous soundtrack playing and at the very end the lyrics, "I know that you miss me, baby" come in. The most confusing part her is the choice of "I know that you miss me." Kim Kardashian didn't go anywhere. She Instagrams almost every day, has as television show, and is currently on the cover of Vogue. Technically, she went to Thailand with her family, but we'll get to see that on TV too.

So what did Kim Kardashian mean by "Coming soon?" Here are a few guesses:

  • Kim & Everyone Take Thailand is coming to E! soon and this will play during the opening credits.
  • It was a message for Kanye West and she means she's coming home soon. This would make sense because she also posted a photo of herself posting on a boat with the caption, "Wish you were here." And we all know she shares her special messages for West with her 13.5 million Instagram followers.
  • A new Kardashian Kollection swimwear line.
  • Her music career. Dear god, don't let it be the "return" of her "music" career. Both videos feature music — "Stay Ready (What a Life)" by Jhene Aiko and "Boss" by Tinashe — so maybe she's hinting at her own music coming out soon.
  • You know Kardashian Kids and the Kardashian Kollection. Now it's time for Kardashian XXX, a scandalous lingerie line.
  • Her new career as a video editor specializing in Instagram. Please let it be this option. I would love to see Kim Kardashian attempt a cross-over career in a job that doesn't actually exist. (Yet!)
  • Jaws V: Kardashattack
  • The Kimye wedding! And the Kimye honeymoon where she will get to post even more slow-motion videos from exotic locales.

I don't think Kim Kardashian just posts videos that say "Coming soon" without a purpose. She is working on something and I'm sure it's something absolutely ridiculous that is going to make her an absolutely ridiculous amount of money.