I didn't expect the Scheana vs. Katie, Kristen, and Stassi drama to hit a crescendo on the floor of a basement bathroom, but I didn't not expect it. Monday's episode of Vander-shriek Rules, er, Vanderpump Rules was basically 40 minutes of shouting, and it was all because Scheana apologized to Lala for gossiping about her personal life. Scheana thought she was just doing the thing she needed to do in that moment to make everyone happy. Instead, it turned into the SUR-pology heard ‘round the world.
Whether or not Lala’s dating a married human being, dating a decoy boyfriend, or dating a Range Rover, Scheana was over it. She wanted to let it all go, move on, be polite to one another while they’re rolling silverware up in cloth napkins, et cetera. So, she told Lala she's sorry for rumormongering. And that was that. But do you know who was not cool with Scheana's apology to Lala (Lalapology? Lalapology.)? The same three people who have never been cool with Lala: Katie, Kristen, and Stassi. So much so, they were more than game to turn Shay and Carter’s surprise pool party into a scream-a-palooza.
At one point during the casual birthday get-together, Brittany politely suggested Stassi let all of the Lala drama go. Stassi took that as her cue to march on over to the wobbly hightop table where Scheana was hanging out and yell about the Lalapology. And then, Stassi, Scheana, and Ariana yelled at each other about the Lalapology. And then, Stassi yelled with Katie and Rachael about Ariana and Scheana. And then, Katie and Stassi yelled at Scheana. And then, I yelled at myself for forgetting to replace the Brita filter again. Like I said, it was a heated episode of reality TV.
If I squint my eyes and tilt my head to the right, I sort of see why Katie, Scheana, and Kristen (from here on out, I shall refer to the trio as "Kratsi") are mad at Scheana: she apologized to Kratsi’s number one grudge target. Oh, wait. Never mind. I don’t get why they’re so mad. Yeah, Lala said some heinous things about Katie and Tom Schwartz, and yeah, I would be upset with Lala if I was Katie. However, being polite to Lala in the SUR break room isn't the same as being her best friend. I really can’t fault Scheana for wanting to get along with her co-workers. It makes the workday a little easier, you know?
*Sigh.* Better luck next apology.
Images: Cindy Ord/Bravo; realitytvgifs/tumblr