Farbeit for me to tell Beau Willimon and Armando Iannucci — the creators of House of Cards and Veep , respectively — what to do or how to make their television shows. I would never; wouldn't dream of it! But the seed has been planted for a hypothetical Cards/Veep crossover and our overly dramatic, comedy-loving hearts are overcome with the dream. Because let's be real: a world in which Selina Meyer and Frank Underwood both exist? If loving that is wrong, I never want to be right, y'all.
Naturally, the shows are both diametrically different — one's an hour long prestige drama, the other a takedown comedy of the most insultingly hilarious proportions — but that's why we think it would work. Will it ever happen? No, probably not. But suspend disbelief for a moment and imagine that it did. (We'll give you a moment to let the hypothetical wash over you.) Admit it: you're loving it, aren't you? OF COURSE YOU ARE! Because you're a human with eyes and a funny bone and love all that is good when it comes to television. Should you be a bit less convinced, though — no matter! We've come up with a few reasons why this delicious mash-up would be one to watch.
Doug Stamper Would Totally Get Selina Elected
If you've been watching this season of Veep — which premiered Sunday night on HBO — you already know that VP Selina is on track to run for President. And while we're certain that her bumbling crew will do their best to get her there, we're fairly certain Frank's pitbull Doug Stamper would get here there without a doubt.
Plus, Doug Stamper + Mike McLintock = Baffling, Bumbling Magic
C'mon: imagine for a second, Doug Stamper and Mike McLinktock being forced to work together on something. Between Mike's blunders and Stamper's short temper, the comedic sparks would fly. Mike would undoubtedly screw up some sort of super-secret of Selina's and Doug would have to come in and save the day (perhaps maybe killing someone in the process but hey: it's all politics!) and basically become the veep office pooper scooper — following close behind this team of feral dogs, cleaning up their messes as they go. It's a beautiful thing.
Frank Underwood Would Take Down Selina, But...
Listen, we all know when it comes to political maneuvering, nobody beats Frank Underwood. And while we're certain that Frank would respect Selina's attitude of "doing whatever's most politically beneficial at the time," we also know he would destroy her. Utterly and completely, there would be no way that she could best him. But that's a good thing for us, as the putdowns, jabs, and insults that'd result would be nothing short of pure, unadulterated comedy magic — making Selina the real winner, at least in our hearts.
Sue & Claire: The Ultimate Duo
We'd love nothing more than the two bossest broads to go head to head, and Sue and Claire would likely be an unstoppable force. Claire would certainly be given a run for her money if she ever had to encounter the force that is Sue Wilson. In fact, we daresay that a crossover between Cards and Veep would result in Claire trying her damndest to steal Sue away from the vice president's office, because there is no better gatekeeper in all the land, is there?
Gary + Frank + Claire = A New Sorta Threesome
This one needs no written description. Admit it: you know that Gary would be a very thoughtful and considerate lover, constantly tending to the needs of his employers. Way, way more than Meechum (sorry, Meech).