Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop CEO Quits Because He Can't Even

[Insert your own "conscious uncoupling" joke here.] Gwyneth Paltrow's CEO for Goop has quit. I know, I know, this comes as a shocker. I, too, did not realize that Paltrow wasn't the CEO of Goop. At the very least, I thought the website would be operating under the false pretense that she was the CEO. What is the title of her position then? Seriously, I need to know as I'm sure it has an extremely pretentious name.

But back to the issue at hand, Goop's CEO Seb Bishop, who joined the company in 2011, has made plans to leave his position. According to Page Six, this has something to do with the site getting a little too Paltrow-y. A source who spoke with Page Six said, "There is speculation that he and Paltrow disagreed on the direction of Goop, partly that she used the Web site as a vehicle for her personal life, and the 'conscious uncoupling' announcement." Ah, so he couldn't handle the "conscious uncoupling" announcement. Welcome back to the real world, bro.

Apparently, Paltrow has plans to move the Goop offices from London, where ex Chris Martin lives, to Los Angeles. Bishop planned to move with the company, but changed his mind and quit instead. A rep for Paltrow explained that the change isn't as abrupt as it sounds saying, "Seb is still with Goop, but has decided not to relocate his family to Los Angeles. He will be transitioning out over time until a replacement is named."

But some people aren't so sure this was a straightforward decision to move on. Another source (actually, it could be the same one, who knows) spoke with Us Weekly and said, "A week and a half ago, he abruptly resigned from GOOP. It's really suspicious." And then they uttered the best line a source has ever said, "I think something weird is going on with Goop."

Amazingly, this source gave no further information as to what "weird" thing could be going on. Are there more personal messages coming from Paltrow? Is she going to start pushing Frito hot dogs instead of health food and shock everyone? Anyone could say that something weird is going on with Goop. Any website that thinks a white t-shirt should cost $90 has something weird going on. I'm thinking Bishop just came to the realization that he didn't want to end up at any more Goop Film Festival screenings.