Justin Bieber Wants to Propose in Central Park: 5 Better Places To Pop the Question
After an allegedly fraught weekend with Selena Gomez at Coachella, Justin Bieber visited Central Park in New York. On Saturday, the singer posted a picture of himself on Instagram in which he is standing on a boulder in the park. He appears to be wearing two bandanas as a skirt. The caption reads, "Was gonna wait to go to Central Park for when I proposed to my future wife but shit sometimes things change. ♛ I'll think of something more romantic." The pop star's train has clearly just entered Desolation Station.
The caption and photograph raise many questions, including: "Are you referring to Selena Gomez as your future wife?", "What could be more romantic than you looking like a washed-out version of Edward Scissorhands?" and "How many other tourist attractions have you avoided over the years because you were reserving them as potential places to ask someone to marry you?" While I can't hope to answer the first two, I do believe that I can provide Bieber with some suggestions for other romantic places in which to propose. The star has shown that, with a little swag, a bowler, and a cropped white hoodie, any location can be transformed from Desolation Station into Romance Central.
The Grand Canyon
Bieber is saving this romantic gulch for when he has fallen for someone who's more than just a valley girl. She'll be the one who rocks his world, and who leads him to the edge. She will never desert him.
The Taj Mahal
When Bieber invites you to India, you can be Shah of it; he's going to pop the question. If you think you're losing your marbles, just remember that he's got a good dome on his shoulders. Call your family, and tell your mother, "Ma, ha'll be married in the fall!"
This photo practically begs Bieber to climb to the apex of the pyramid and throw an off-brand version of a gang sign. How else is a young pop star to declare his true Louvre and undying affection? If your friends start to Mona with jealousy, just remind them that they're never fully dressed without a (Venus de) sMilo. At the end of the day, liberty must lead the people, and love must lead Bieber to someone he's truly Psyche'd about.
The Great Pyramid of Giza
Bieber would prefer to get married before he's an ancient Giza, and I can definitely see him bringing a lady here to tell her, "You're not just a peer amidst the crowd." The two would smoke some Camels, walk around the base, and watch the sun set while listening to their new favorite band, Seventh Wonder-ection.
Bieber can take a knee at this prehistoric monument to tell his lucky lady, "Thou Wilt s(h)ire my children." Finally, things will have come full circle, and whomever he asks will be marrying a pretty cool Druid.
Hopefully this limited list will show Bieber and his fans that, just because Central Park is no longer an option, he doesn't have to give up on finding love in famous locations. While he may have to curtail his travels as a world tourist, Bieber should know that there are many other "more romantic" locales just waiting for his trademark tattoos. From the Space Needle to outer space itself, he can claim any spot for his ultimate proposal. And, if the relationship doesn't work out, he can simply Instagram the location, cross it off his list, and pack his bags for the next world landmark. My money's on the Great Wall, but only time will tell.