17 Titles for 'Star Wars: Episode 7' That Are Better Than This Rumored One
A clone army could not contain the deluge of Star Wars: Episode 7 information we've been getting lately. We jumped up and down when Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher announced that they would once again join the cast as Luke and Leia. The news of a slate of Star Wars newcomers — like Oscar Isaac, Andy Serkis, and John Boyega — made us want to break out the metal bikinis and dance around. And the announcement that Adam Driver would play the villain? That made us break out the entire cantina band. But even the confirmation of Harrison Ford's involvement can't beat the title rumor that is currently flying around the galaxy: Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Ancient Fear . Ugh.
A band of sand people could probably make a better sounding title, and Jar Jar Binks could easily think of one with more significance to the franchise. Even though Episodes 1-3 were abominable, at least they had catchy titles, from The Phantom Menace to Revenge of the Sith. Luckily, this is this is just a rumor, which means that it could easily be scrapped, like many rumored Star Wars titles before. But just in case it's real, I've come up with a rebel army of titles that would have suited Episode 7 better than "The Ancient Fear."
They could start by capitalizing on the generally badass titles for the original trilogy, and maybe even give a nod to the ridiculousness of the prepositions in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Renewed Hope
Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Empire Strikes Again
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Rise of the Return of the Jedi
But if they felt those were tired, they could try nodding to other series that Star Wars nerds might appreciate.
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Raiders of the Lost Alderaan
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Hans Solo and the Tatooine of Doom
Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Next Generation
Star Wars: Episode 7 — An Unexpected Space Journey
Since Star Wars is owned by Disney, they could also try to bank on the cultural clout of Disney movies, and our excitement that Leia is now a Disney princess.
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Wookie and the Beast
Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Little Ewok
Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Princess and the Sarlacc
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Frozen (in Carbonite)
But even if they don't want to reference cultural crossovers, there are plenty of unexplored plot points they could use as fuel for a good title.
Star Wars: Episode 7 — The Royal Solo Family
Star Wars: Episode 7 — When Luke Met [To Be Announced Female Lead]
Star Wars: Episode 7 — Chewbacca Speaks Out
As a last resort, they could just pick something vaguely Wars-y and hope that fans aren't dedicated enough to care.