Kim Kardashian Sets Record Straight On Wedding & The News Is Disappointing

It's time to throw all your knowledge about the upcoming Kimye nuptials into a pile — But don't toss it yet! You might need it later! — because Kim Kardashian has set the record straight on her wedding. Kardashian took to Twitter and explained that the wedding won't be humongous, that she's not married yet, and, most shocking of all, that the wedding will not be on Keeping Up with the Kardashians. That's right, they're going to pull a North West's birth and show the lead up, but not show the actual event. This is the complete opposite of pulling a Penelope Disick's birth where you literally see the bride (baby) come out of the cathedral doors (birth canal).

Kardashian began her series of tweets,

Seeing so many different reports not gonna start disputing them all but a few I want to straighten out...

Oh no! Please don't dispute the rumor that Kanye West is planning a "concept event based on a wedding!" That's the best one!

1. We are not married yet!

Well, that actually is a little surprising seeing as they were said to have gotten married in the U.S. in advance of the Paris wedding because of French marriage laws and — Omg! Did we all learn basic facts about French marriage laws for nothing?! It doesn't really matter. The official marriage is not what's important, it's about getting to see the wedding on TV. Oh yeah, that isn't even happening.

2. We are not filming our wedding for Keeping Up With The Kardashians. You will see everything leading up til and after!
John Lamparski/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

I really hope this means that we see Kim getting ready to walk down the aisle, but then when the doors to the actual ceremony open, Kim begins to walk inside and everything fades to white as if she was ascending into heaven. As for the "after" part, it will probably just be a clip of the rest of the family explaining how great the wedding was and Kris taking all of the credit.

As much as we would love to share these memories on camera, we've decided to keep this close to our heart & share thru photos.

Yes, but will photos prove to Kris Humphries that this wedding is better? Think about it, Kim. (Sshhh! Don't tell, but I think that if we bring up Kris Humphries enough, she'll change her mind.)

3. No guest list has been released. Seeing fake ones. Especially not 1600 people invited like I just read. Its VERY small & intimate

Ya know how I told you not to throw out your rumor-based wedding knowledge earlier? It's because Kardashian could be making up things to throw us off. You'll want to keep the rumors in mind for cross referencing after the actual wedding occurs.

4. Seeing fake wedding dress pics of me. No one has seen my dress! Those photos are old or photo shopped.

No one has seen the dress. NO ONE.

That's its! Unless you hear it from us please don't believe nonsense!

Whomp whomp. Sounds like KUWTK isn't getting another wedding episode, but at least she didn't deny the one about herself and West spending $125,000 on each guest. That would've been a big bummer for anyone who's already RSVP'd.