Mariah Carey's New Single "Thirsty" Is Unimpressive, Leaves Us Parched — LISTEN

After failing to execute a Beyoncé by announcing what was supposed to be a surprise album, Mariah Carey released a new single off her upcoming album Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse, and let's just say there's nothing groundbreaking about it. Mariah Carey's new track is called "Thirsty" and for the most part it's left us a bit parched.

First of all... the singing. Obviously Carey's ongoing vocal issues have prompted much speculation over exactly what happened to her voice, like during this extremely strained performance at last year's National Christmas Tree lighting ceremony. On "Thirsty," some of Carey's vocal limitations can still be heard despite the auto-tuning and whatever other studio magic producers sprinkled upon the recording to achieve the final result. Towards the end of the song, certain notes go from sounding like an extra nasally version of Carey to an altogether different person. And what's a Mariah Carey single without the presence of her signature whistle register?

Then there are the bland lyrics, which paint the clichéd picture of some good-for-nothing leech of a man attempting to build his celebrity off Mimi's clout. Lines like "Saw you stuntin' on Instagram," sound just as cheesy and uninspired as the album title.

Fortunately for Mariah, the same elements that leave me unimpressed with this song will probably factor into making it a commercial success. There's the presence of the formula that's helped to bring her chart-topping hits since she transitioned from pop to mostly hip-hop and R&B-- catchy chorus, mid-tempo dance beat and a featured rapper. It worked on "Honey," and "Heartbreaker," which both performed fairly well commercially and on the charts.

But for someone who claims to be Elusive, let's hope that the album's other tracks have much more to offer in the way of sonic sustenance. Sure, after listening to the chorus of "Thirsty" over and over again, it's definitely enough to groove to, but Mariah is capable of far more than shallow pop culture references and yet another song dissing some guy she used to know.

Listen below to see if you're quenched by what Carey has to offer on "Thirsty":