When it comes to freshman comedy Mixology, ABC is closing out its tab. According to reports, ABC has axed the bar-set sitcom Mixology which might be surprising to you... if you haven't watched the show, that is. (Then again, if you had made that poor choice in judgement, perhaps ABC wouldn't be canceling it.) Since there's a great chance that you didn't check out Mixology this year (our readers are a smart bunch) here's the overall premise: Ten unlucky-in-love bar patrons (and some employees) do a bunch of crazy stuff in the name of finding love. And by "love," we mean "someone to sleep with after last call." Because despite the intro telling us that these people are searching for the real deal, the show also treats us to characters like Bruce, who likes to spew out lines like, "the higher the heel, the looser she feels."
This is the world we live in, people. This is romance. Get excited.
I was one of the poor souls who did watch this mess, and while I did appreciate seeing my crush from The Following, Adan Canto, tending bar (clearly I've been going to the wrong bars) there are approximately a million things that I won't miss about this show. Here's just some of the things that I won't miss after Mixology's last round.
- Bruce talking about sleeping with women who are on the verge of vomiting
- Liv's baby voice
- Maya's speech about how real men hit women
- Tom crying
- The British guy from Date Movie pretending to be a stand-up guy
- Bruce's beard
- Kacey's baby voice
- Any flashback involving the birth of a character
- Bruce objectifying women
- Fab hitting on her OBGYN
- No one thinking it's weird that Fab's hitting on her OBGYN
- Dominic's ever-changing accent
- Liv contemplating cheating on her fiance for hours
- Liv finally (sloppily) making out with Ron, post-strip club
- Liv apologizing to her fiance, declaring her love for him, then breaking up with her fiance
- Anything with Liv's storyline at all, really
- Jessica's constant need for validation from men
- The fact that Jessica didn't delete her naked photos off Ron's phone (WHY?!)
- The unbelievably slow passage of time
- Fab's baby voice
- Fab as a person
- Maya's hatred of everyone (except Don Draper)
- The rape jokes
- The unrealistic portrayal of NYC bars
- Insistence on most women getting referred to as bitches
- Men (okay, Tom) being put down for acting like a woman (and not even a bitch!)
- Dominic's singing
- Everyone pretending that Dominic's song was bad WHEN IT REALLY WASN'T, OKAY?
- Knowing that Maya and Tom are the worst matched couple in the history of the world
- ...And that they'll end up together after last call
- Knowing that some fan out there finds Bruce's looks AND personality attractive
- Kacey trying to sleep with Dominic just after declaring Kal "the one."
- All of the drinking and bar puns I make when I write about it (way too easy)
- The fact that I've watched every. Single. Episode.
So, bye, bye, Mixology. It's time to close out.