What If He Had A Tinder Profile?

by Mallory Schlossberg

Ah, Tinder. The easiest way to make a quick connection with someone — just swipe and you have a date, a new not-quite-friend with benefits, or a new rejection! Unlike OkCupid, which requires time and effort — filling out a profile is arduous, reading profiles can prove to be even more arduous — Tinder pulls from your Facebook profile and makes it quick and easy for you get a date or a roll in the hay. It's like going to a bar, without having to talk to anyone.

So of course, I've taken to wonder what would happen if some of our favorite characters made Tinder profiles, and found myself asking: Who is more of an eligible bachelor than Game of Thrones' Jon Snow himself? No one. Besides, this perfectly coiffed brooding boy was taking dramatic candid shots before dramatic candid shots were a thing. That's such an online dating thing.

Now that he's swiped his V-card with Ygritte, he's certainly ready to play this hit-and-run game. Obviously, our favorite hero could use some lady lovin' (and we know he has the skills in the sack... well, on the floor, since that's where they did it), but he specifically needs to look for someone who will not shoot him with a bow and arrow.

Since online — er, phone-dating — is not likely to happen anytime soon in Westeros, let's make a Tinder profile for Jon Snow! Swipe yes if you know something.


Of course, Jon would go for the obligatory look-off-into-the-distance candid shot for his profile pic. Ladies love that. Plus, it looks like he's thinking.

Also, he's really good with animals. He'd have to have a shot with a baby direwolf. Awwww.

Action shot!

"I look good in contemporary clothes, too. I promise I won't judge your taste in music, as long as it's not 'The Rains of Castemere.'"

But he probably should't use that photo. As much as he wants to show ladies he's a fighter, people will probably balk at his pose with his long... ahem... sword.


Knows something. Honorable. Once you go Castle Black you never go back.

(Just kidding. Jon Snow is a man of few words, he'd probably just leave it at the fact that he knows something, particularly since his ex-girlfriend kept insisting he didn't. Or maybe he would just instead put the Night's Watch oath as his description. Leave 'em wanting more, ya know?)


Elsa, Frozen

She totally gets she that winter is coming and can handle the icy weather. Let the storm rage on, indeed! And besides, we already made her Tinder profile, so it'd be easy to make that connection.

Eowyn, Lord of The Rings

An awesome lady character from LOTR would so be a fit for Jon Snow. Besides, you know that the Westeros world and LOTR would intersect in cyberspace. (They've already intersected on the show — a sword on the Iron Throne is from LOTR !).


Because somehow, exes always show up on these things.

...But in all likelihood, he'd probably find a match, get a date, and then run North.