Tinder Pickup Lines Just Got Way Creepier

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Tinder may be making an effort lately to make itself slightly less skeezy with new features like "Just Friends" or Tinder “Moments” (which also has the potential to make it MORE skeezy)… but as long as pickup lines like this exist, I’m not sure any amount of de-skeezification is going to help. The proof is in the pudding — or the video, as the case may be. Buzzfeed assembled the creepiest Tinder pickup lines they could find… and then made them a million times creepier by having someone read them aloud. As Yahoo! Finance put it, “Courtship isn’t what it used to be.” No. No it is not.

Let me stress that the thing that makes all of these pickup lines creepy is that they’re coming from complete strangers. Would you, for instance, have a drink with someone, let alone take them home and hook up with them, if they randomly asked you on the street, “Hey, I’m new to the area — can I have directions to your apartment?” Would you take a stranger who said, “You’re beautiful, by the way! We should share a bottle of wine and then I would pleasure you orally all night” up on their offer? I’m going to guess the answer in both cases is “no” for a lot of us. Also, adding “By the way, I go to Harvard” doesn’t make “As long as I have a face, you have somewhere to sit” an acceptable thing to say to someone you don’t know.

I’m sure, by the way, that dudes are not the only ones guilty of creeping people out with way-too-forward pickup lines on Tinder (or on any other online dating app, for that matter), so let’s all make sure we take some good do’s and don’ts away from this video. Because let’s face it: No one wants to end up on someone else’s horrifying Tinderline, right?

Although as The Daily Dot noted, the guy who had pizza, adult lemonade beverages, and Titanic did make a legit awesome offer. File that one under “dos.”