'The Bachelor's Courtney Robertson's 'I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends' Reveals These 10 Secrets of the Show

Whether you've been a loyal Bachelor viewer for years or you just tuned in to watch Andi Dorfman try to find love on Season 10 of the Bachelorette, you may have some lingering questions about what it's really like to be a contestant on the ABC show. Fortunately, Season 16 Bachelor "winner" Courtney Robertson wrote a tell-all book. The woman who stole Ben Flajnik's heart after a risqué skinny dipping adventure is the genius behind I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends: Confessions of a Reality Show Villain, a book that reveals everything you wanted to know about behind-the-scenes of Bachelor Nation. (And some things you didn't want to know, too.) 

Robertson may have ended up with a ring and wine-enthusiast Flajnik (they later broke up, of course), but most fans remember her for her "villainous" nature. Robertson's antics thrust her into the ranks of reality TV's most hated stars, for a number of reasons. She went topless a lot. She "stole" Flajnik away from other girls during their one-on-one time. She threatened people, made up mean nicknames, and allegedly dumped her boyfriend just to get on the show. She didn't come across as a nice person, but Flajnik was smitten, and the two got engaged.

But like many couples formed on The Bachelor, Robertson is now single again and wants to share her side of the story. Not only does she open up about the other contestants, the interview process and the mansion, but spills details about her sex life (she dated Reese Witherspoon's husband before they got together) and her relationship with Flajnik. Here are 10 things we learned from from Robertson's memoir, out June 24.

1. THE FANTASY SUITE IS FOR ONE THING ONLY: SEX

Of course this fact has been long speculated, but now Robertson confirms it once and for all (on Pg. 3 no less!). Recalling the day of her proposal, she writes of her soon to be fiance, "We'd had sex three times in the fantasy suite." She also mentions that former Bachelorette Ashley Hebert also slept with Flajnik in the fantasy suite only to dump him on national T.V. in favor of J.P. Rosenbaum. While not every couple gets intimate (Emily Maynard neglected to stay overnight with her guys to set a good example for her daughter), it seems the majority do, and Robertson isn't afraid to write about the details of fantasy suite sex. 

2. ARIE'S GOOD FOR MORE THAN JUST KISSING

After she split up with Flajnik, Robertson hooked up with Arie Luyendyk Jr. from Emily Maynard's season. The pair were photographed kissing one night, but Robertson reveals they did a little more than that. In fact, she describes it as "the best sex I've ever had" — italics and all. We probably could have guessed that the "kissing bandit" knew how to use his mouth, but now we know for sure.

3. THERE'S A FORMULA TO ENDING UP ON THE SHOW

Let's be real here, you might not care who Robertson slept with, but you're probably curious how she got chosen for the show in the first place, right? In her book, Robertson gives you the secret formula to a noticeable application. Among the steps are sending in a good photo of yourself. Robertson recommends you "cut to the chase and save producers time by wearing a bikini in the photo." Because you'll certainly be wearing one on the show to do everything from sledding to jumping out of helicopters. Another helpful hint is to have a sob story. Did someone you love recently die? Were you dumped via text? Good, you officially have Bachelor potential! 

4. COURTNEY AND BEN WEREN'T AS HAPPY AS THEY SEEMED 

America knew the couple was having problems when the "After the Final Rose" special was about as somber as it could get. They cried, Robertson accused Flajnik of not being there for her, wedding plans looked nonexistent, but it turns out the behind-the-scenes relationship was far shakier than what was shown. In fact, Robertson and Flajnik broke up before the "Women Tell All" segment, which was filmed weeks before the finale aired. They eventually got back together to give things another shot, but the rocky story behind this hated couple goes deeper than you ever knew, and Robertson takes you through it all in the book.

5. SHE DID HAVE SEX IN THE OCEAN

While the Clare and Juan Pablo ocean sex debate is still up in the air, The Bachelor's original skinny dipper Robertson confirms in her book that she and Flajnik did have sex in the ocean on camera. "But it was only for about 20 seconds and, um, it was just the tip," she elaborates. 

6. SOME FEUDS AREN'T JUST FOR SHOW

Sometimes onscreen feuds can be the work of film editing. But Robertson's fighting with fellow contestant Kacie Boguskie was totally for real, and the ladies still haven't let it go. Kacie B. is known for calling Robertson a black widow on camera and Robertson makes no secrets of her feelings towards Boguskie, making several snide comments throughout the book.

"The others, especially Kacie B, were busy kissing [Chris Harrison's] ass maybe hoping he'd put in a good word with Ben or, more likely, hoping he was imagining them as the next Bachelorette in case this didn't work out."

7. WHAT DOES A CONTESTANT PACK?

Some of the common Bachelor questions have to do with the ladies' wardrobe and makeup. Roberston confirms that contestants are expected to provide their own outfits and do their own hair and makeup. The official rules say to bring two suitcases, but most of the girls brought five, according to Robertson. (It seems that Bachelor rules are pretty easily bendable as long as everything makes for good TV.) 

Robertson called in fellow competitor Jaclyn Swartz to give readers some Bachelor packing tips. The full list is available inside the book, but if you manage to land yourself on the show (or you just want to pack like a reality show star) here are some things you need to bring: Ten Rose Ceremony dresses (aim high!), fake lashes, accessories to make your outfits stand out from the other girls (so people playing at home will remember who you are), and 1,000 bikinis, because as Swartz says, "You will end up wearing these in freezing cold tundras while ice skating and preforming weird plays." 

Oh, and Robertson adds that if she had to do it all over again, she'd pack her vibrator too. After all, they only got to see Ben every once in awhile.

8. THE LIMO EXIT COUNTS

Well, as far as TV time is concerned. Roberston says the producers love when people do wacky things when they get out of the limo (duh, it spices things up.) But Courtney kept her own greeting short and sweet, saying hi and complimenting Ben Flankink's hair. Oh, and job-dropping her model status. 

For our entertainment, Robertson's book includes the rough draft of her list of hellos. Some of the gems? "The search is over..." and "I'm in it to win it!" In the end Robertson's exit was overshadowed by the bigger ones of the night like Lindzi Cox showing up on a horse. Go big or get no screen time in the Bachelor business.

9. THE BACHELOR DOESN'T CARE ABOUT PROTECTED SEX

Maybe it's their way of discouraging the contestants from having sex, or maybe it's because a surprise Bachelor baby would be the most dramatic thing in the history of the show, but Robertson says the producers neglected to provide the Fantasy Suite with any condoms. Not that it stopped her and Flajnik from doing "every position under the sun."

10. NO ONE EATS THE ONE-ON-ONE FOOD

Those gorgeous gourmet meals that contestants get on the coveted one on one dates usually go uneaten. "Nobody likes talking with their mouth full," She says. Especially on camera! I suppose that's why so many contestants are always eating each other's faces—they're starving!

For more Bachelor/Bachelorette secrets and all the details behind the demise of Courtney and Ben's relationship, pick up Courtney Robertson's book I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends out June 24.

Images: alittle-sparkofmadness/Tumblr; masonlikethejarfreshcoatofpainteverlarkdandelions/Tumblr; sodahead; huffingtonposttheotherjuliette/Blogspot; crushablegiphy; calijamaican [2]; It Books

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