Kanye West's Cannes Conference Quotes Translated to What Yeezus Really Meant

Leave it to a Kanye West quote to brighten up the day. As Dave Chappelle recently confirmed, anything Kanye West says is usually of the awesome variety, and for anyone whose face palm execution needs work, reading what Yeezy reportedly said at the Cannes Lions Creativity Conference today will help hone that slapping hand to forehand motion. Reading between the lines of West's words is akin to those random brain teasers that supposedly only a few people can decipher. But for those who mistakenly take his words at face value, please refer to this list of Kanye West quotes, complete with translations that reveal what he really meant:

Kanye quote: “I don’t want to say all these big over-the-top statements that end up getting quoted the wrong way.”What Kanye meant: “I fully intend to say all these big, over-the-top statements and then blame everyone for quoting them the wrong way, just so I can bless you guys with another one of my epic rants.”Kanye quote: "I am not a fan of Samsung, by the way...The reason I said I didn’t like Samsung is because throughout my entire life…I have to work with the No. 1, I can’t work with anyone but Jay Z..."What Kanye meant: "The reason I said I didn't like Samsung is because throughout my entire life, I've become accustomed to having everything my way, and when they chose to work with Jay Z before me?!? I just...I can't."

Kanye quote: "I am not going to represent any company except Louis Vuitton because that’s the best.”What Kanye meant: "I am not going to represent any company except Louis Vuitton because that’s the best. What's that? I told y'all to boycott Louis Vuitton last year? Well, uh, that was before I married Kim."Kanye quote: "I think it is ridiculous giving any celebrity a creative director role of anything. There is only like three guys who I think could work like that, and that’s Ryan Leslie, me and Will.I.Am, because we care about it. We’re inside of it.”

What Kanye meant: “I think it is ridiculous giving any celebrity a creative director role of anything...except me."

Kanye quote: “But if the Vogue cover had come out after the ‘Bound’ video, everyone would have been like, ‘Its okay.’ We hadn’t yet got the endorsement from something as established as Vogue.”What Kanye meant: “But if the Vogue cover had come out after the ‘Bound’ video, everyone would have been like, ‘Its okay.’ Kim-- I mean, we desperately needed the endorsement from something as established as Vogue.”

Kanye quote: "You have to be able to take the lashes of people not understanding: It took two years of people not understanding an interracial relationship like that [him and Kim]."What Kanye meant: "You might be able to take the lashes of people not understanding my marriage to a reality TV star, but that isn't something I've mastered yet, so I use the art of deflection when people object to our relationship." Kanye quote: "You don’t think good taste, and I think bad taste is vulgar — it’s like cursing. I believe the world can be saved by design because, what is the most vulgar thing someone could do? Kill someone, so good taste is the opposite of that."Honestly, I have no idea what he meant by that...

Or this: “We have to remember Rome wasn’t built in one day. But the Internet is the new Rome.” Oh-kay...Kanye quote: "I can’t be with any girl but Kim because that’s the girl that I look at her pictures the most and get turned on the most."Of all the West-isms listed, this one sounds the most authentic. We're pretty sure he meant it.

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