I know you're not over the urge to paper your life with John Green quotes. It's fine — same here. So you were probably wondering where you could get a great, "It's a metaphor," poster. Because Augustus Waters' signature line is by far the greatest thing to happen to the Internet in 2014. Well, you're in luck — on Thursday, John Green tweeted the link to an official The Fault in Our Stars online store that full on author-picked merchandise. If you passed Bustle's TFiOS Superfan quiz with flying colors, you're going to need approximately all 34 of the featured items ASAP.
John Green really does care about you, even though he viciously broke your heart with his 2012 bestselling novel and has had you sobbing uncontrollably since June 6. So, on Wednesday the author tried his best to prevent you from getting sucked down a TFiOS Etsy black hole. Green tweeted the link to the official TFiOS store via DFTBA Records with the added incentive (as if you really needed one to buy "Okay? Okay." earrings) that by purchasing your merchandise from the site, the artists responsible will receive the royalties they deserve. Nerdfighters, unite!
However, while Green prevented us from falling into hours of Etsy browsing, he hasn't stopped us from wanting to spend every last penny on decking our walls, cellphones, and persons in TFiOS gear. Here are the 13 best items from the official store that every TFiOS fan, diehard or not, needs right now:
1. This Augustus Waters Tee
Only $20 for the essence of Gus? I'll take it.
2. This "Preparedness" Kit
Everything a diehard fan could possibly need — tissues for your tears, sunglasses to hide your crying eyes, and candy cigarettes all for a reasonable $25.
3. OK-Lahoma Tee
Yay for puns — TFiOS and a pun on the same $20 tee. All of our favorite things in one place.
4. "Our Little Infinity" Necklace
I'm a huge fan of this whole "your favorite book passage in a piece of jewelry" trend. And what better part of TFiOS to wear close to your heart than a snippet of Hazel's eulogy for Gus in this $28 pendant.
5. This Gus Poster
For a mere $10, this Gus quoting poster will adorn the walls of teens and college students for decades. Heck, I'd put it on my wall.
6. This iPhone Case
Available for the 4/4s as well. This iPhone case incorporates everything we love — Hazel's childhood swing set, "Okay? Okay," and some Hazel and Gus cuddling. It's TFiOS in a nutshell on your iPhone for only $25.
7. Roller Coaster Poster
Just paper your walls in TFiOS posters. This Gus quoting poster reminds me vaguely of the early '00s indie bands I used to love.
8. 2nd Edition Audiobook Box Set
Apparently, you've all been calling for John Green to read his bestselling novel to you. In the $40 second edition of the TFiOS audiobook, of which only 3,000 copies have been made, Green heeds the calls of his legions of fans.
9. "I Fell In Love Like You Fall Asleep" Necklace
Appropriately encased in a heart-shaped pendant, and excerpt of Hazel's declaration of love for Augustus is perfect and affordable at $28. Why would you not buy this?
10. Another Punny Poster
Alright, whether you're a Gus or a Hazel would love this poster.
11. Collage Poster
See, I told you these posters are amazing. This collage poster has everything you love about TFiOS and it'll be the gift that keeps on giving when you discover something new every time you look at it.
12. "It's A Metaphor" Necklace
Thank you, Augustus Waters, for bringing back the metaphor so much so that we want to wear it around our necks with this necklace.
13. Augustus' Letter Watercolor Poster
Profound, beautiful, and absolutely a conversation piece if hung on the wall in the bathroom or common room of your space. And it's on sale — so just buy the poster.
Image: dftba.com (13)