'The C-String' Thong Is The Worst Thing Ever To Happen To Women's Undergarments...And Possibly Humanity
Ever have a moment when you're putting on your undergarments for the day and you think, wow, this thong is just TOO much fabric for me today? Or maybe, if only I could feel more FREE down there? Perhaps you just want to try something new. Well, if new (and equally disturbing) lingerie products are your thing then, don't worry, there's something for you. It's called the C-string and well, it's basically what it sounds like. Imagine a thong...but without the pesky waist band part. Because who needs that?
Like the famed asymmetrical man thong (Should I add "proficient in writing articles on strange/disturbing intimate wear" to my LinkedIn profile, or no?), the C-string stays in place thanks to a wire that gets cozily tucked between one's butt cheeks. And yes, it looks very much like a maxi pad. Except less practical.
I know what you're thinking: "I have to see this to believe and/or understand it." And even though what you're about to see is an image that might haunt you for the day three to four weeks, I can't say I blame you. It's like the eighth wonder of the world. If the wonders were confusing and hideous variations of lingerie.
I give you: the C-string. See it here. (Slightly NSFW.)
Yes, it is that bad. And that's not all. It actually comes in different colors, patterns, and fabrics.
This product is for sale on Amazon, among other sites, and a lot of the reviews come from husbands that bought this for their wives as a gift.
You know those girls who complain about their significant others buying them something they can't stand? Like a gym membership or set of power tools? This is that on a whole other level. A whole other planet of another level. And it is horrifying.
By the way, this is totally what Kendall Jenner was wearing under her MMVA dress on Sunday, right? Thank God we solved that mystery.
There is also a male version of this, which includes a pouch sort of thing — handy for storing away 'the goods' and also, conveniently, your dignity.
It's a scary world we live in, guys. A scary, scary, filled-with-different-types-of-thongs world.