Cody, It's Time For You To Go Home

On a show like The Bachelorette, it's all but guaranteed that not every guy trying to go home with Andi Dorfman is going to be a gem — and I think we can all agree that this Bachelorette has had her share of bad dates in the past (although most of them were with Juan Pablo, and those days are over). Unfortunately, Andi's still got a long road ahead of her, and that road includes dealing with my least favorite of this year's Bachelorette contestants: 28-year-old personal trainer Cody Sattler from Chicago.

From the minute Cody rolled — well, walked... pushing a three ton vehicle... uphill — in for limo introductions, he immediately left a bad taste in my mouth. It's not that he's the first to make a weird entrance, but his was unquestionably the most obnoxious one of the night, and it all seems to have gone downhill from there. Generally, it's easy to mock contestants on that first night, and we grow to like them over time, but that hasn't been the case with Cody.

The guy can't be all bad, right? Maybe? I mean, for Andi's sake, I hope not, but it's not looking good. So is Cody the best pick for Andi? Let's examine the evidence:

The Bad

There's not a good way to say this: Cody is rather full of himself. He's obviously worked very hard to achieve his striking physique, so we can't fault him for being proud of himself. What we can fault him for? The fact that when asked about tattoos in his ABC bio, his response was that "You don't put bumper stickers on a Mercedes." Who is this guy?

Okay, maybe if I was that buff, I'd have that kind of attitude, too. But I hope not.

Also, can we talk about how Cody and Andi just don't have anything to talk about? Mostly because they have nothing in common, but also because Cody's kind of a douche and Andi is an angel sent from heaven to improve upon our reality TV shows here on earth.

And one more thing: The body language between Andi and Cody just isn't saying anything good. As Reality Steve pointed out, the butt pushed out kind of hug isn't spelling out true love from Andi's end — and this girl needs true love, damn it!

The Good

Cody's in shape, and he likes kids — or, at least that's what I'm assuming, given that he used to be a sixth grade teacher and tutors kids as a side job. Oh, and he and Andi are close to the same age, so that's something. Unsurprisingly, the compatibility pretty much stops there.

The Verdict

Nope. Sorry, Cody. No rose for you. Goodbye.

Images: ABC; Wifflegif; Giphy