Channing Tatum & Jenna Dewan-Tatum Are Not Breaking Up Until Sasquatch Is Real

Fact: Hollywood is a drama factory. Onscreen: Drama! Behind the scenes: Draaaaamaaa. It's just everywhere, all the time, and it's been said hundreds of thousands of times at this point that living in an impatient information age isn't exactly helping to calm anyone down on that front. Which is why it was no surprise when Star reported that Jenna Dewan-Tatum and Channing Tatum were breaking up. It's a day of the week, of course there are rumors of a major celebrity couple breaking up! But the Dewan-Tatums are having none of it.

Of the prominent Hollywood couples out there, the Dewan-Tatums give the impression of being among the more secure, long-term pairs. They're publicly adorable, they have a cute baby, they talk about their love all the time. They're cute! They a lot of pride in this, as evidenced by the couple's reaction to Star's rumors on Dewan-Tatum's WhoSay:

@ChanningTatum and @JennalDewan Tatum Caught in Three-way with Sasquatch in 7-11 Bathroom!" would be a more accurate headline for @Star_News?'s cover. But this is our world-- where mags can concoct outright lies about real people in order to sell it to you as 'journalism'. Hope we all think hard about what this means and start to demand better. I know we can. Love y'all. - CT and JDT

So unless we do indeed catch Sasquatch in a three-way in a 7-11 bathroom with the Dewan-Tatums — what a news day that would be! — we'd say these kids are safe.