What Names Should Hipster Babies Get?

Hipsters are multiplying, and not just in a more-and-more-people-are-becoming-hipsters type way; no, lot of them are also having kids. Which means they are faced with the thorny issue of what to name their babies – because after all, hipsters could never go with any name that's become mainstream. So to save them from such a fate, Fit Pregnancy has a few suggestions for baby names that hipsters might appreciate.

Over at the Elite Daily, they seem to think that these names are "guaranteed to make your kid stand out as the ultimate douchebag" which seems a little unfair. Speaking as someone who was named for her great-aunt at a time when virtually no kids were named Emma, I liked that my name was unique. And now that Emma is one of the most popular names in America, I can't help but be a little annoyed. Which maybe means there's more hipster in me than I like to admit.

But I digress.

The point is that I actually quite like this list. There's a minimum of names from other cultures or languages (because cultural appropriation is bad, guys, and it's unfair to tag your kids with it from birth), no names from television or celebrities (Khaleesi is a lot to live up to, guys), and no names that are misspelled just for fun (because naming a kid Jasmine but spelling it Jazmyne does your child no favors, people). And even though some of the names on this list might be a bit of a challenge, studies show your name doesn't actually have that much of an impact on your life anyway.

Also, Elite Daily, important message: a person's sexuality has fuck all to do with their name, and even if it did, implying that naming your child something that would make them bi-curious would be a bad thing is downright insulting. To quote Janet Mock, "Get it the fuck together." That is all.

Anyway, here's the suggested list:

For Girls:

  • Briseida
  • Farrah
  • Inez
  • Liora
  • Minnie
  • Odette
  • Pandora
  • Romy
  • Suzette
  • Tessie
  • Wren
  • Zola

Overall, sure Briseida and Inez are both Spanish names, but Briseida at least is a variant of Breseis, a character in The Illiad, so that one was already appropriated from the Ancient Greeks. And if Pandora radio is still around, I'm sure a girl named Pandora would get some teasing at some point, but then I always thought that the Pandora of Greek mythology was an unappreicated badass, so I approve anyway.

As for the boys:

  • Auden
  • Byron
  • Enoch
  • Gulliver
  • Ignatius
  • Lennon
  • Murray
  • Nico
  • Orson
  • Roman
  • Salinger
  • Zane

This list is a little less mythological and a lot more literary, and I totally dig it, being a lit nerd and all. Enoch might take some explaining, but we all have our crosses to bear. And any child named after Byron should consider themselves privileged to have such a connection to literature's most infamous bad boy. Also, Byron and Zane would be great names for the leads of a high school rock band, and this needs to happen.

And if none of these names float your boat, Fit Pregnancy also has an additional list of cool and geeky hipster names you can check out.

Of course, if you really want to be daring with your baby naming, you could always let the Internet name your child. Cause that couldn't possibly go wrong. And if all these weird names are getting on your nerves, you could always move to one of those places where the government doesn't legally allow parents to name their kids wacky things. I might wind up there with you after too many Jazmynes. Only time will tell.