The last time Orange is the New Black fans saw Officer George "Pornstache" Mendez, he was being dragged out of Litchfield in handcuffs, shouting "I love you" at Daya, and looking more pathetic than we'd ever seen him. As far as we know, he was heading off to a prison far, far away, but that didn't mean he was off the show for good, especially after he'd only been back a few episodes — or did it? According to actor Pablo Schreiber, who spoke with Vulture on Thursday, that emotional scene might unfortunately be the last of Pornstache Orange fans will see for a long while.
"I'm a series regular now on a show called The Brink on HBO," Schreiber said. "But his mother is making an appearance on season three. Mary Steenburgen has been cast as my mom. I'm not sure what she'll do that will advance the Pornstache plotline, but for now, Mendez is in prison, biding his time. Spoiler alert!"
While Schreiber's news is certainly discouraging (although we'll have to check out his new non-mustached role), it doesn't necessarily mean that Pornstache is off the show completely. For all we know, he could appear in one or two episodes next year, and come back for good in season four; perhaps Orange is giving him a one-season break, like they sort of did with Laura Prepon, with every intention of bringing him back full-time in a couple of years.
No matter what, though, we'll know Orange will have at least one major connection to the hated prison guard next season, thanks to the casting of Mary Steenburgen in a role that many have speculated is his mother. Here's a few theories for how Steenburgen's character could make a Pornstache-less show still revolve around the guy Orange fans all love to hate:
1. She tries to gain custody of the baby
Vulture came up with this theory, and we agree that it's a very likely possibility for Steenburgern's character's appearance. It also has Schreiber's blessing; as he told the site, that theory "sounds good. Thank you for solving that for me there! You've just written the third season."
2. She knows about Bennett and wants to make his life hell
Somehow, Pornstache's mom finds out the truth about who fathered Daya's baby, and wants to get vengeance for her locked-up son. She comes to Litchfield and finds a way to wreak havoc on Bennett's life, perhaps filling the recently-vacated "evil female" shoes of both Fig and Vee.
3. She doesn't know the truth about the baby but wants to kill the person who got her son arrested
If this theory comes true, Caputo better watch his back. Mama Pornstache could have a temper that rivals her son's, and she might want to take it out on the person who got him locked up in jail.
4. She sues the hospital
Say Pornstache's mother really does know the truth, and wants justice for her son's incarceration. What better way to do so than reveal the identity of Daya's father to the public, then sue the hospital and everyone who helped make Pornstache's arrest possible? It'd cause massive problems for Litchfield, but it'd also make great drama.
5. She's on Daya and Bennett's side, and wants her son in jail for good
Well, this one's not too likely. Still, it'd be great to expect some horrible, Pornstache-birthing character and instead receive a sweet, likable mom who knows her son is awful and just wants his (supposed) child to be loved. That's probably way too happy for Orange, but hey, we can hope.