As the series' opening credits like to remind us every week, Kristen Taekman might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but she’s pretty! Yeah, I hate that tagline, too. Kristen joined the Real Housewives of New York cast this season — the show's sixth(!) — and has brought a breath of fresh air to the somewhat stale cast. Kristen is a model, originally from Connecticut, and has an entrepreneur husband, Josh Taekman (more on him later) and two children, Cash and Kingsley.
So from what you see above, Kristen has all the makings of being the perfect housewife for Bravo’s franchise. The Bravo formula: glam job, check; loving husband (who makes sexist comments), check; two really cute children, check; exciting camera presence, ehh; and ability to make Ramona Singer lose her shit, check. Like I said, it’s a formula.
Unfortunately (maybe fortunately), as season six comes to an excruciatingly slow close, there are a lot of rumors that almost the entire cast, including Kristen, will be fired at the end of the season. Although no decisions will be made until after the season ends, I’d like to propose to Bravo reasons why Kristen should stay on for another season of Real Housewives of New York. For your consideration, Mr. Andy Cohen.
Her Dramatic Relationship With her Husband
Oh, Josh Taekman. Dude, if I can call you that, you really eff’ed up this season. A direct quote from Josh, when arguing with Kristen about him not being present in the house, “Why do you think I don’t come home, there’s never food on the table.” Guys, I. Could. Have. Died. Then — THEN — Josh proceeded to mock her for the workout video she was doing. Honestly, this guy is the worst. With that said, I would like to see where this relationship goes. Sometimes the show can portray people in a different light from the person they really are. If this is the case for Josh, he better call up Andy Cohen and beg for Kristen to remain on the show so he can right his many wrongs.
Her Modeling Career Is Sink or Swim
Either way, I’d watch. If Kristen were to book a huge campaign tomorrow and be all over the billboards of Times Square (you can tell I know a lot about modeling), I would be ecstatic! If Kristen were to continuously go meet with booking agents who told her time and time again she is too old, I would be sad, but equally ecstatic! At least this gives us something interesting to watch and reminds us that the Real Housewives — they’re just like us.
We Want to Know What Happens to her Adorable Daughter
Kingsley, Kristen’s two-year-old daughter, is absolutely the cutest thing ever. Isn’t that picture of the two of them beautiful? I don’t even know them and I want to frame it and hang it up in my apartment. One of Kristen’s plot lines this season was that Kingsley was physically delayed and would require serious physical therapy, which we've seen on RHONY. According to Kristen’s blog on Bravo, Kingsley is walking now.
Her Elvis Presley Obsession
Okay, so maybe an Elvis fanatic isn’t the grabbiest concept for a housewife, but Kristen is so obsessed with the king that I can’t help but want more screen time of the two of them. She’s super obsessed. I was scrolling through her Instagram for maybe five minutes and saw a minimum of eight pictures of him. I, personally, like to keep my celebrity obsessions hidden (in my closet behind the clothes is where my statue of Ryan Gosling made out of gum Hey Arnold-style resides— I KID), but you’ve got to love a gal who isn’t shy about kissing an Elvis pillow.
Her Hilariously Awful Housewives Trips
So Montana is out of the question, maybe a desert village in Nevada (not Vegas, that is way too fun) OR perhaps Graceland? Honestly, I am surprised she didn’t take the women to Graceland, home of Elvis Presley; Ramona would have had a field day. Kristen planned the girls’ trip to Montana this season and it is the best/worst thing I’ve ever seen. Who doesn’t want to watch New Yorkers skeet shoot in the middle of nowhere?
Images: Kristen Taekman/Instagram