Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch & More Reasons to Be Sad America & England Broke Up
Ah, the 4th of July — that wonderful summer holiday full of fireworks, grilling, and love of country. It's our birthday and we'll have cakes that look like flags if we want to! We'll also take a trip to the beach, eat corn on the cob, and we're totally going to wear a bandana with of the stars and stripes on it to honor our independence. But as grateful as we are for our liberty, there are still a few things we're missing out on back in Ye Olde England. Our brethren across the pond know what's going on when it comes to royalty, cultural institutions, gorgeous countryside landscapes, stinky cheese, pub life, Sherlock, and the art of Sunday roast dinner.
Sure, we've got our purple mountains and their majesties, but England's got festivities like the Queen's Jubilee and villages with silly names like Boggy Bottom. Oh, and don't even get me STARTED on Cornish ice cream.
But aside from the pomp and circumstance, Downton Abbey, the tweed-laden history, the wry sense of humor, and the kitschy/quaint charm of the United Kingdom (not to mention the strength of the pound... DAMN YOU!), the real reason we're a little sad about our big break-up with England back in 1776 is that they lay claim to these fine gentleman. If we were still together, these dudes would belong to us, too. Ah, the price of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
WHY!? Wish he could belong to us in the U.S.
WHY OH WHY DID WE DO THIS TO OURSELVES!? Those forefathers weren't such fore-thinkers.
~Collapses and dies.~
Kit Harington (and his hair)
Why did we do this to ourselves, America?
This is just cruel.
We F-ed up.
BRB spinning a web of sorrow.
This isn't getting any easier.
I need someone to hold me.
Enough! I've had enough!
Happy Independence Day... I GUESS.