There's something about a 10-episode season of a half hour sitcom that just whips us into a frenzy, especially when that sitcom is HBO's GIRLS . We complain about it and we criticize Hannah's complaints, but ultimately, when the series leaves us after 10 short weeks, we're left in unbearable withdrawal. How do we even exist in the times of the year when GIRLS isn't on? Lucky for you, the Bustle office just happens to be ridiculously close to a few GIRLS Season 4 filming locations, namely a beloved Greenpoint bowing alley called The Gutter.
For two entire days leading up the Fourth, the GIRLS crew took over a divey Brooklyn gem and while we weren't able to sneak inside (we're not exactly super spies), we were able to glean a few ideas about where Season 4 might take this extended trip to the bowling alley. (And admittedly, a few of these theories are total pipe dreams, but if Hannah can achieve her dreams, maybe she can achieve ours too.)
Last we saw Hannah, she was teetering on the edge of a breakup with Adam after the opening night of his play while feeling the incredible satisfaction of getting into a top notch writers' workshop in Iowa. Desi had "kissed the shit" out of Marnie, but Desi's girlfriend was none too pleased and called Marn a "sad, pathetic mess." Marnie also earned the ire of Shoshanna thanks to her eerily gleeful announcement that she'd been sleeping with Ray (that might have been a worse call than her Kanye West cover at Charlie's startup party). And though all of this, Shosh is carrying a pretty heavy load: she's a few credits short of graduation, she maybe wants Ray back, and Marnie just stomped all over that. And somewhere in the city, Jessa has agreed to euthanize her boss, Beadie.
Now, how could all this lead up to two days worth of shooting in a bowling alley? We have some ideas, but first, here's where all these hypothetical storylines are going down:
The Gutter Bowling Alley
Got a good enough visual? Did you catch that dusty old American flag? Good. And now, for the theories:
The Easy One: It's Someone's Birthday
In Season 1, the whole gang gathered together at Jessa's impromptu wedding. In Season 2, it was Charlie's shindig at his fancy startup for the app he created to get over Marnie. And in Season 3, everyone met up at Greenpoint's Bar Matchless for a Hannah-centric birthday shindig — well, it was Hannah-centric until Marnie tried to make her sing "Take Me For What I Am" despite the birthday girl's protestations. It would be easy to assume that the reason GIRLS needed two whole days to film inside of a bowling alley is that we're looking at another disastrous social occasion, potentially for someone's birthday.
The Long Shot: Marnie & Desi Have a Show There
If you've been obsessively following the GIRLS Season 4 production diary, you know that Desi-portrayer Ebon Moss-Bachrach has been on set with the ladies of GIRLS as recently as early June. At the end of Season 3, Desi did plant one pent-up make-out session on Marnie, so it stands to reason that he could stick around for more action in Season 4. He and Marnie could have continued their musical partnership and like any proper Brooklyn dive, The Gutter bowling alley also has a music venue in the back. The gang could be all together to see another Marnie and Desi special. Of course, what we're really wondering is are these two together? Hooking up behind Desi's girlfriend's back? Or sharing a very Marnie awkward partnership after they shared that passionate kiss that Marnie will continue to silently dwell on for far too long? If Desi is around, it's got to be one of these things, right?
The Other Easy One: Hannah's Welcome Back From Iowa Party
We already know that she definitely goes to Iowa and knowing Hannah, she will return to New York, expecting everyone to be just dripping with anticipation for her return, only to find that everyone kept on living and doing their own things. Please say it's this one, because one really heavy bout of self-reflection could really do this girl some good.
The Wild Card: The Girls Just Have a Grand Night Out
Perhaps there's no occasion here. Like any normal, fun loving people, perhaps our gals are just getting together for some good old fashioned pitchers of cheap beer, ill-fitting shoes that a million other people have worn, and rolling heavy balls at tiny pins down a greased-up throughway. Naturally, something dramatic will happen (like the time Hannah went to a party in Bushwick and found out Adam was an alcoholic... or that time Shoshanna accidentally smoked crack... or that time everyone learned a dance together in the Hamptons... or even that time Marnie shoved cake in her own face and made out with Bobby Moynihan).
Of course, these are just theories, people. For all we know, anything at all could happen in those bowling alley scenes. This series isn't exactly known for sticking to any sort of TV rules and that's just one small part of how it's wormed its way into our cold, cold hearts.
Images: HBO; Giphy (4)