It came to me in a dream, Full House Redux: Uncle Joey's Wedding. A reunion special where the ungrateful Tanner-Katsopolis family show up to support Uncle Joey's impending nuptials after letting him sacrifice his own happiness to care for Danny's brood for the better part of thirty years. Okay, okay, it might have been inspired by some real life events. Whatever. I imagine it'd go something like this: After the signature Do-be-do-ba-ba-dow! and a once over of the famous San Francisco Painted Ladies, we're greeted by the chiseled jaw of John Stamos, clenched, as he holds his bare wrists to an adult Kimmy Gibbler, imploringly. "Gibbler," says Uncle Jesse with utter disdain, "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY HEIRLOOM CUFF LINKS?!" Given by none other than Papouli (may he rest in peace), of course. To which Kimmy would reply, "Oh, those cuff links?" And with a dubious chuckle, she'd book it out of the hotel room and into Dwayne's indifferent arms.
Okay, so maybe it wouldn't go exactly like that.
But, even if Gibbler has matured a bit in the 19 years since Full House has been off air, she couldn't have changed too much. Actually, we have proof that she's still up to her menacing antics because real-life Kimmy and DJ stole John Stamos's phone at Dave Coulier's actual wedding (which looked beautiful, btw) and snapped a totally adorbs photo. See below:
But it got me thinking. What would grown Gibbler do at Uncle Joey's wedding? Well, shenanigans, duh.
INDULGE IN ALL OF THE FREE FOOD. CAN YOU SAY COCKTAIL HOUR?
EXPLOIT AN INTIMATE AND BEAUTIFUL UNION OF TWO PEOPLE IN ORDER TO GARNER CUSTOMERS TO HER NEW BUSINESS
GET INTO A FIGHT WITH STEPHANIE AND SUBSEQUENTLY STORM OUT WITH A SASSY ONE-LINER
GET INEBRIATED AND MAKE POOR LIFE CHOICES
*Sobs* Can a girl get a hug around here?! Where's Danny?!!!!!
TRY TO STEAL DJ'S THUNDER
FUFILL HER LIFELONG GOAL AND BE INDUCTED INTO THE TANNER FAMILY AS AN HONORARY MEMBER
...by default or not.
Images: Tumblr