Brian Williams Makes Epic Sex Joke On 'NBC Nightly News', Keeps A Straight Face — VIDEO

On Thursday's edition of NBC Nightly News, Brian Williams proved once and for all why he is the rightful heir to Tom Brokaw's throne: Brian Williams made an epic sex joke, never once losing his cool. The legendary anchor was commenting on the baby boom sweeping the nation's capital, which, as Williams noted, coincides nicely with the government shutdown nine months ago. Wonder what Congress did while they were at home? Brian Williams will tell ya.

Boldly going where few anchors have gone before, Williams managed to both insult the government and insinuate that lawmakers make babies, all while reporting the news. Williams started the story innocently enough, noting the following fun fact.

Last year’s government shutdown in Washington had at least one positive development nine months after the fact. The folks at Sibley Hospital in Washington are reporting live births are up right now on average by about three per day.

But he didn't stop there, and we're ever so glad he didn't. Without missing a beat, Williams continued:

How long until someone on television points out that during the shutdown the folks in Washington are apparently doing at home what Washington has been accused of doing to the American people?

Oh my, could it be? Did he really? Does he mean... sex? Yes, America, yes he does. And by allowing his audience to put two and two together on their own, Williams struck the perfect balance between commentary and comedy. And almost as though to absolve himself of any dirty sex joke guilt, Williams ended on this note:

We’re guessing someone will say that on television before long.

And we're guessing that someone was you, Brian Williams.


Viewers around the country were likely left a little stunned and very amused by Williams's shameless innuendo, and we're just hoping that he keeps 'em coming. Talking Points Memo reminds us, however, that as clever as Williams's joke was, it might not have been altogether original, as Woody Allen's 1977 film "Annie Hall" features a very similar line.

In the movie, Allen's character, Alvy, delivers a similar punchline when talking about the Eisenhower administration, saying,

I ... interestingly had, uh, dated ... a woman in the Eisenhower Administration ... briefly ... and, uh, it was ironic to me 'cause, uh . . . tsch . . . 'cause I was trying to, u-u-uh, do to her what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.

Still, credit goes to Williams for knowing when to borrow a couple lines.

As for the actual story — you know, the one about the babies — this is good news for the American population, which has seen a steady decline in the national birth rate for the past several years. Late last year, CNN reported that the 2012 birth rate hit a record low of just 63.0 births per 1,000 women between the ages of 15 and 44, down again from the previous record in 2011 of 63.2 births.

In order to replace each successive generation, an average reproduction rate of 2.1 children per woman is needed. American women have failed to meet this threshold since 2007, and 2012 also set a record low for this metric, with an average of only 1.88 children per woman in the United States.

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With a recent report from The New Republic — and several other news outlets — showing that a surprising proportion of millennials call their parents' basements their homes, it's no wonder that the birth rate isn't exactly skyrocketing. Many potential parents have cited economic instability as a chief reason to hold off on having children, and on the other hand, those who are financially stable simply seem less interested in starting families early on in adulthood.

What's filling the child-shaped hole in some lives? Dogs, it turns out. While the number of live births for women between the ages of 15 and 29 has plummeted 9 percent over the past seven years, the New York Post reports that American Pet Products Association has presented data showing that the number of small dogs purchased has skyrocketed from 34.1 million in 2008 to 40.8 million in 2012.

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So while Brian Williams may be poking fun at the baby-making habits of Washington, D.C., inhabitants, they may be single-handedly bringing up this year's birth rate.